putting the magic in cicadas

There’s a lot of news about the “cicada onslaught” that is coming soon. Should you be worried?

YES! You should! These aren’t your ordinary cicadas! They are magicicadas! Called that because they know how to use MAGIC!

Cicadas are odd little bugs. They mate, then go underground and plot for 17 years (some for 13), then come back up and mate again. It’s really pretty cool. They varied their breeding enough that cicadas pop up almost every year.

BUT! Magicicadas are a special breed of cicada that have been to Hogwarts and grow under the whomping willow.

This year, they estimate that at least 30 million magicicadas will emerge on the east coast! If they climb on top of each other, they could make it to the moon and back! Which cicadas love to do!

How do they attract a mate? They shake their abdomen. It’s super loud.

When I shake my abdomen, it does not attract mates. It usually gets me arrested. It DOES work for magicicadas, though. Which makes me think that Justin Timberlake and Bruno Mars MIGHT be magicicadas.

On a slightly unrelated, but just as scary, note, giant snails have invaded Houston. So, even if you wanted to leave the east coast, you’ll probably bump into a giant snail.

And if you remember, snails have teeth and will eat your car. And sometimes they fly and will eat your plane (if you are trying to fly to the west coast).

I don’t have any proof of flying snails, but I’m sure snails dream about flying. Are there any flying, shelled creatures? If not, I should invent one. Like a flying turtle. Oh! I think I have a new favorite imaginary (soon maginary) animal!

I’m off to put my shell and wings on.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

snails have teeth

Well that's something I didn't know! Did you? Did you also not know that snail teeth could make it easier to get a Prius?

They can! People who don't like running love to study snails. David Kisailus (who may or may not love to run) studies the gumboot chiton snail. Turns out this snail has a "conveyor belt-like arrangement of teeth." Which sounds totally scary, but isn't really.

Unless these snails eat some radioactive goo and grow huge. Then the conveyor belt of teeth will probably eat everything in the world. It would be impossible to fight this 50-foot snail because it will also have a shell. Let's hope they are peaceful snails of doom.

After a lot of big science words like ferrihydrite and nanocrystalline, the conveyor belt of teeth is kinda similar to the way we make lithium-ion batteries! Like for your phone or hybrid vehicle!

AND it does it at room temperature! Which sounds boring at first, but actually saves money on energy and cost! Making it cheaper to give you more phones and hybrid vehicles!

All of this snail/car talk reminds me of a joke I love. My brother told this to me once and I never forgot it. Partly because I did not get the joke at the time. Because I'm not too bright. When I did get the joke years later, I laughed for 3 days, 4 hours, and 28 minutes. Here is the joke that I hope gives you just as much enjoyment, if not more.

A snail goes to a car store. The car salesman shows the snail many cars. The snail says, "I'll take this car, but only if you paint a giant "S" on the side of it."

The car salesman says, "We can do that. May I ask why?"

The snail says, "Because when I drive down the street, I want everybody to shout, 'look at that S Car Go!'"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

So funny! Hold on...I need a moment to catch my breath! Whew! Makes me laugh every time!

I'm off to paint an "S" on my car. You can guess why.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

drive up and down in a rickshaw

Chen is a rickshaw kind of guy. Because he owns one and drives it around. From China to London! He started his trip in 2010, traveled for two years and finally got to London for the 2012 Olympics.

Next stop? Rio. For the 2016 Olympics.

So, why travel in a rickshaw through war zones, floods, and mountains you ask? Chen said it was all he could afford.

Also, even though Chen didn't say this, I'm pretty sure it's because CHEN IS CRAZY AWESOME!

86,000 miles! In two years! In a rickshaw! If I could actually use a rickshaw every day of my life, I would. I mean, they're probably the 4th coolest form of transportation. Maybe tied at 4th. Giant snails are really cool, too.

I have no idea what Chen had to go through, but I can only imagine how hard it was to travel through dragon-infested mountains and megagator-infested swamps! And rain! I would not be able to deal with that. I hate wet socks.

OH! I should change my name to Rick Shaw. Private Eye. I could solve mysteries while driving around on an old WWII motorcycle. (To throw people off. Because they would EXPECT a rickshaw.)

And I'd carry a nunchucks. WHAM! Didn't see THAT coming, did ya!

Chen and I would solve mysteries and save the world once a week. Then enjoy a laugh over tea after our adventures were over.

In fact, in my head, this has already been going on for a few years. It's been awesome. Thanks for the good times, Chen.

I'm off to change my name.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj