Showing posts with label mango. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mango. Show all posts

Thursday, July 31, 2014

chocolate pudding fruit

That’s a thing. A real thing. It’s called a Black Sapote. BUT it is also known as Chocolate Pudding Fruit!

When I heard about this, I almost exploded from excitement. Literally. It’s happened before, so I know what it feels like when it almost happens.

Then I got skeptical. Because, you know, you would THINK a fruit that tastes like chocolate would SELL LIKE A FRUIT THAT TASTES LIKE CHOCOLATE.

It’s a decent fruit. Pretty high in fiber. Vitamin A and C. But does it taste like chocolate pudding?!

Well…maybe. Since I can’t really find this fruit anywhere, I looked it up online. Most people seem to say that it has a mild chocolate flavor. Though, somebody said it was like pear/banana combo. A pearana? Banear?

One person said it might be psychological because it LOOKS just like chocolate pudding. You can’t eat the skin, so you cut it open, and chocolate pudding is in there!

This is like peeling an orange and a finding whipped cream!

Or opening a watermelon and finding a puppy!

Or cutting open an apple to find out it’s filled with love and gummy bears!

So yes, this fruit does exist. But it’s not quite the miracle we thought. I would still like to try it.

Even if it doesn’t taste just like chocolate, it can’t be as bad as cutting a mango.

Yes. I’m still bitter. Like arugula.

I’m off to peel a banana to see what’s inside. I hope it's a rainbow.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

fruit cutter 2: mangry

I thought I could cut fruit. I really, really did. I was prancing in a beautiful world full or cut pineapples and watermelons! Everybody was smiling and happy and dancing! I thought I could handle anything!

That overconfidence was my downfall. Into a descent of fruit salad fury.

First, the mango. The mango got me mangry. I tried a few different cutting techniques. Wanna know what you should do with a mango? NOTHING. It’s mostly pit! Or, whatever is in it! It’s only worth a small bite of fruit!

If you never had one, here’s an easy way to try it. Get a 2x4. Preferably a tougher wood. Like a Grey Ironback. Then take one banana and spread it around the 2x4 so you have a thin layer of fruit.

Then try to eat it. THAT is a mango.

After the mango mangling, I thought I would have some fun with fruit that I already loved. Bananas, strawberries, and pineapple. I thought, “I’ll make a fancy fruit salad!”

NOPE! Don’t do it! Cutting a strawberry is silly! You can just eat it as is. There is no reason to cut it into slices. You get, like, two slices. Don’t waste your time.

And bananas just go smoosh. The end.

See, you have to cut pineapples and watermelons because they have a thick shell. But bananas? NO! It’s not natural to cut them! You don’t have to!

The same with strawberries! It’s against nature!

You don’t want to fight nature, do you?

NO. YOU DON’T.

I’m off to eat fruit the way it is meant to be eaten at dictated by nature.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

Thursday, June 5, 2014

soft foods for me

I am getting some crowns put on my teeth. Why? Because my teeth are royalty! That’s why!

Also because my teeth are a mess. I’ve had pretty much EVERY TOOTH EVER get filled in because of a cavity.

So now I have these temporary caps on my teeth and they are killing me! It’s so hard to eat! I don’t know if this is what it’s like when a baby is teething, but I’m going to say it is.

It’s super hard to eat. But it also feels good to bite down. So I eat to make my jaw feel better, but it’s so hard to eat that it’s a pain. I think this is a catch-22. Or a catch-twenty-tooth.

I have been eating a lot of bananas. They are easy. Also, tried an avocado for the first time. That was fun! Have you seen the pit in that thing?! It’s huge! I have no idea what’s in it, but I’m guessing it’s a baby dinosaur. That’s why I made a little nest and sit on it while I’m watching Star Trek.

Another new thing I tried is creamed spinach. I really never expected to eat that, but it sounded soft. It’s like a weird drippy green solid that actually tastes pretty good.

I know I’m not selling it well, but when you’re desperate for food like I am, you gotta learn to take what you can get! Life isn’t easy for us royal teethers!

Trying to find soft foods to eat has also made me appreciate the internet more. Like finding out what fruits have skin that I can and cannot eat. Honestly, I have NO idea what’s edible!

I started to look up if I could eat the skin of an avocado. Google automatically filled out my search with mango! I didn’t even know that was a question! I never bought a full-on, uncut mango at the store. But guess what! Some people could get a rash from it! So it’s kinda better not to risk it!

Shouldn’t fruit be labeled to let me know this? Am I really so out of touch with food that I should have known that? Should I just stick with bananas because that’s all I can afford?

The answer is “yes” to all of those questions.

I’m off to sit on my nest.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj