sticky money smells good

Canada has new money that smells like maple syrup! Well, that’s according to the citizens of Canada. Also known as Canadanites.

According to the official Bank of Canada, “The bank has not added any scent to the new bank notes.”

So why is everybody smelling maple syrup? Some people think it’s all psychosomatic. That people want to believe it, so they all smell maple syrup. (Is it normal to smell your money? Is that a Canadanite thing to do? Is it weird that I DON'T smell my money?)

I have another theory. Everything in Canada is made out of maple syrup. Do you remember Fraggle Rock? And the Doozers? They made all their buildings out of radishes and the Fraggles LOVED them!

Well, Canadians are like maple syrup Doozers. I mean, maple syrup is pretty much everywhere in Canada. It practically grows on trees. So the Bank of Canada (secretly) said, “Let’s use this stuff to make money!”

And make money they did!

The bad thing is that the money can melt. You may think I am making that up. I am not. Though I sometimes (almost always) fabricate the facts, this one is not fabricated at all. The money melts and gets sticky when it gets too warm. It’s best to store your money in the fridge to keep it fresh. If you put it in your wallet, it might get gooey on a hot day.

I know, this is Canada, you would never think it gets hot there. But it’s tricky because of their Celsius temperatures!

You might say, “It’s only 40 degrees out! My money won’t melt!” Then you go outside and maply syrup money is melting everywhere! Because when you convert 40 Canada into American-language, it’s 104 degrees!

I’m going to bring a bottle of maple syrup to the Bank of Canada and tell them all my money melted and they should give me new money. I’ll get a really big jug, so they’ll have to give me billions of dollars. I’ll be maple-rich!

I’m off to dance my cares away.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

that's no maple leaf

Canada is in a fiscal crisis! You could say (and this will be funny later when you know the story) that they are on a fiscal limb! (It's a tree joke...wait for it...)

Canada has brand new $20 bills. As always, they look like colorful  candy. (Actually, as far as I'm concerned, everything in Canada is sugary and edible.) But, there is a BIG botanical brouhaha over the dollar design. More specifically, the maple leaf. (See? The tree joke is making sense now!)

The leaf on the new bill has FIVE lobes! Five you say? Five I say!

You know from your years of botanical studies that the 5-lobed maple leaf is from the invasive Norway maple tree. NOT the beautiful 3-lobed sugar maple that proudly sits on the Canadian flag.

Now the banks and botanists are fighting. It WILL go down in history as the Bank/Botanical Battle Boogaloo.

The bank said it's a mish-mash of ALL maple trees. Because they accept all maple currency in Canada. Botanists aren't buying it...and are afraid it won't buy them anything.

You: "Here's your payment for all these plants and tree-things I'm buying at this wonderful botany store."

Botanist Cashier: "What's this? This isn't money! And trust me, I know from silly looking money, eh! I'm full-on Canadian and KNOW what a sugar maple leaf looks like and this, my friend, is Norwegian money!"

You: "I swear this is real money! Even though it looks totally fake like all Canadian money even though it's really real, eh!"

Botanist Cashier: "Get out of my store you Norwegian counterfeiter! Mounties! I need some Mounties! Royal Canadian Mounties! This person is Norwegian!"

That was the last time I did anything botanical. It was also the last time I rode a horse. But that's more hippological and less botanical.

I'm off to maple a tree.

Enjoy Everything, Eh.

-dj