circle the magnetic field

Have you ever seen dogs circle around before they go to the bathroom? Did you know that scientists have been trying to figure their reasons for YEARS and now have a theory as to why?!

They like to line up with the magnetic field! The Earth’s magnetic field. Not the band. You don’t have to play them certain songs to go to the bathroom.

Well, your dog MIGHT need that. But it’s not what was studied.

The magnetic field is not always “calm.” But, when it is, dogs line up along the north-south axis. Then it is time to go bathrooming!

How do they even know?! Are all dogs like Magneto?! Do they know that you need protection from cosmic rays when going potty? I mean, that’s the first thing my mom ever taught me.

Me: “MOM! I have to potty!”

Mom: “The bathroom is over there. But remember, WATCH OUT FOR COSMIC RAYS!”

Maybe the Fantastic Four should have had my mom.

Is this actually something humans should do? Is there something in the digestive system that works better when lined up with the north-south axis? Should I eat more magnets? (Editor’s Note: NEVER EAT MAGNETS)

Should I be bringing a compass with me every time I go to the bathroom?

Maybe I should go into the woods and attempt to "feel" the magnetic field. I’ve been called an outdoorsman before. I mean, I called myself that once. I have been outdoors. So I’m pretty sure it’s true.

As you can see, I have a lot of questions about going to the bathroom. I have no idea what I should do. Hopefully somebody will answer them soon because I really have to go.

I’m off to field a magnet.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

robot revolution

Experts are pretty sure humans are done for. They say that robots will overtake us by 2100.

I don’t know if you think this is totally awesome or totally scary. I’m going to go with TOTALLY AWESOME!

Who cares if robots take over?! The world was getting so “human.” I mean, we all do these human things. Like work and move and stuff. What’s the point?

Once robots take over the world and start building new robots to replace old robots, we’ll be able to just sit and do NOTHING. How amazing will that be?!

We could be, like, pets to the robots! Do you ever look at your dog or your cat and think, “How loverly and lazily your life must be...ily! I wish that could be me...ily!”

Once robots take over, it CAN be you! We’ll play with balls of yarn and have automatic feeders and go for walks!

Instead of cat videos online, robots will post human videos of us doing crazy things! And do silly visual effects like adding lightsabers and stuff!

Okay…humans already do that without the aid of robots. I don’t know what that says about us…

Maybe they’ll build robot dragons and let me have one! That would be the coolest thing ever!

Now are you convinced to let the robots take over? I thought so. It’s going to be a good life.

I’m off to play with a ball of yarn.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

where no dog has barked before

I like Star Trek: The Next Generation. It is one of my mostest favoritest shows ever! It was so good. STILL so good. 

Last night, movie theaters around the country showed two episodes from season one to celebrate the release of ST:TNG on Blu-ray.

It was awesome.

What was even more AWESOMER was the dog at the show! YES! There was a canine there!

It was in a rolling pet carrier thingy. I always knew that all species loved Star Trek. I just didn't know all species were allowed in the movies!

Can you bring a dog into a movie theater? Well...I now know that you can. Cuz it happened. I don't think they tried to sneak it in. It was pretty clearly a dog. In a carrier. Not, like, a lump in a suitcase that was barking.

They brought the dog in and it just watched the movies and didn't make a sound! It was so interested in the Enterprise going to the edge of the universe and Data finding his evil brother!

Does it cost extra to bring a dog in? It didn't actually take up any seats. It was sitting on its owner's lap. Maybe a child's ticket?

I should have asked, but I don't know much dog, so I probably wouldn't have understood the answer. All I remember from my dog classes is how to ask for cheese and where the bathroom is.

Grwoof wruf ruff whimper?

Huh...I guess they don't have cheese at the movie candy counter.

I'm off to the Enterprise.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

cuddly little tyrannosaurus

Scientists have found that the T. Rex may have been the cuddliest of all the dinosaurs!

I always KNEW they were fuzzy little love-snugglers!

They found some tyrannosaur fossils that show "fluffy down" remains on its skin! One scientist even says that it would be like "long, thick fur."

So having a pet tyrannosaurus is almost, kinda just like having a fluffy dog! Or a baby chick! Probably just like a fuzzy, cutie baby chick!

Or a bunny! A swumbly, cuddly-wuddly bunny! Like a baby easter bunny! Even a funzy, bubbly-tubbly wester bunny!

OH! I saw the Easter Bunny. Or, one of the bunny helpers. It was hopping along the road. I guess it was delivering goodies to children.

That, or running to cuddle with a tyrannosaurus! Because, you know, they're super fuzzy!

So the next time you are looking for a pet at the shelter, look in the tyrannosaur section first. They might be big, but that's just more to snuggle with!

And the more you snuggle, the more fun you have!

At least that's why my tyrannosaurus told me. And I believe everything he says. Because he has huge teeth.

And a huuuuuuge heart of fuzzy warmth!

I'm off to hug a dino.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

the name was so easy...but no...

Mittens Romney! I know I talk about him all the time. Know why? HIS NAME IS MITTENS! That's why!

I STILL have no idea what he stands for politically. But you already know what I WANT him to stand for. KITTENS!

And I think that is why there is a "Dogs Against Romney" group. Yes, there really is a "Dogs Against Romney" group.

What amazes me is that they had the PERFECT name for this group and they didn't use it! It's like somebody just handed them the master sword and they pushed it away for the wooden one!

"Mutts Against Mitt!"

It's so simple! How could they have missed this?!

I guess dogs don't like catchy names. Or Mittens. Or kittens.

OH! Today is Ferris Wheel Day!

I don't know if dogs like ferris wheels. But if they don't, they SHOULD call themselves "Fidos Against Ferris Wheels." But they'll probably call themselves "Dogs Against Large Circular Things At Amusement Parks."

Because, you know, they don't like to make it easy.

I'm off to start a group against badly named groups.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj