secretary of the interior

I was reading some news this weekend and saw that Ken Salazar is leaving his post as the United States Secretary of the Interior.

I know what you're thinking. "Wow. That's really interesting. No, really, it is. Because...yeah-no, it's totally not."

Well stop thinking that! Did you know that Ken is the 50th USSOTI! He is! (That's his abbreviation. Like "POTUS" for President of the United States.)

Those are the things I learn when I read a story about something I know nothing about (which is everything)! I thought to myself, "What could the USSOTI possibly do? I mean, clearly, they do something about interiors."

NO! SO WRONG! They do NOTHING with interiors! When the world created White House secretaries, they decided that the name meant absolutely NOTHING with what they actually do!

The USSOTI oversees things like the Bureau of Land Management, the United States Geological Survey, and the National Park Service.

Notice a theme? They are all OUTSIDE! Shouldn't he be the Secretary of the Outterior? I mean, if the Interior is dealing with the Outterior, who is dealing with the Interior? Do they think it will interior itself?

Let me tell you, it will not! Interiors need a lot of work! They need to be fed and walked twice a day and if you're not mature enough for that responsibility, you should rethink your decision to become the Secretary of it.

Maybe that's why Ken is leaving.

Fun Fact! Did you know that the USSOTI is the 8th in line for president? It's true! So if there were 7 "accidents," Ken would be president.

It wouldn't look suspicious if they were all inside since he's OUTSIDE all the time! It's the perfect alibi!

I'm off to secretate the outterior.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj