time to get a new clock

I had a clock. It ran on a battery. It was red. And it kept ticking!

I couldn't take it anymore. I used to love the ticking clock. Now I do not. I have gone all digital!

Maybe I'm getting old. Instead of having a constant reminder of the passage of time, I'd rather live in a realm where time may or may not actually be passing.

Theoretically, it isn't passing until I recognize its passing. Once I look at the clock, then I realize that time has gone by. But BEFORE that, time doesn't exist.

Is that too deep for me? Yes. Let's just say I didn't like the ticks.

OH! You know what else is annoying? My alarms! Not that the sound is annoying. It's supposed to be. To wake me up. But they never do!

I think I figured it out! I use four alarms to (sorta) wake up in the morning. Yes. Four. I won't hear them for 20 minutes or so. Do you know why? Because they don't stay on!

They all beep or buzz or twinkle for one minute and then go into snooze mode! What's up with that?! Who wakes up after one minute of noise? Ring for a minute, then snooze for 5? That doesn't make any sense!

I think I would only need one alarm if it stayed on until I hit snooze. Then alarm again until I turn it off! Don't just give up after one minute! That's just lazy!

I need the alarm because I'M lazy! Why don't they make unlazy alarms?!

I suppose it's not all bad. They don't tick. So that's cool. And maybe without the passage of time, having an alarm doesn't matter. Since, you know, I stop time and all.

Try that excuse on your boss. Let me know if it works.

I'm off to live in an undesignated frame of time.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj