fit into my genes

It took the power of the Supreme Court to decide that your genes are your genes and nobody can patent them.

Which stinks for me, because I had sent thousands of letters to the patent office to get patents for all of your genes.

Then I was going to charge you for having your genes and you would have to pay me to keep being all genie and stuff.

Can’t do that now! Thanks a lot, Supreme Court!

I guess some company found a gene and put a patent on it. The court said that they didn’t actually INVENT anything. They just FOUND something. You can’t patent something that you just find when you’re looking for it!

That’s like you looking in the sky and seeing the sun and thinking, “I just found this giant thing in the sky that is totally bright! I need to patent that because I want to make money from it!”

Doesn’t work that way!

Now, if you created a NEW sun with variations and improvements on the old sun, you could probably patent that. I don’t know where you would put it, though. I mean, the sun is pretty big. It’s bigger than my library. And THAT is BIG!

I wish I could patent my genes. I bet I have some really cool ones. I can jump pretty high. I know my vision isn’t great, but with glasses, I can totally see far.

I don’t really wear jeans, though. I know it’s different, but they sound the same. I like cargo pants. I generally have a lot of cargo, so I need the pants to transport that cargo. Very useful.

I would also like to patent my idea for an envelope that has flavored glue.

I’m off to copyright and trademark and lick an envelope.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj