the perfect apple

Cornell University is famous for a lot of things. My brother went there. I don’t think they were famous until he went there. I’m pretty sure his thesis was a best-seller.

Well, it would have been if anybody could understand it. That’s what happens when you become Doctor Physics. Nobody knows what you’re saying. Something about something and rays or something. It’s all gibberish.

Cornell is ALSO famous for apples! They love making new apples in hopes of creating the “perfect apple.” Since I thrive on factual research for all my blogs, I decided to call my brother about his Cornelliness and maybe find a joke about his PhD or apples or something.

I asked him about his thesis. It was mostly a bunch of science words I couldn’t understand. Not much comedy to work with. But then he said that he would get apples from the vending machine!

Yes! Cornell has an apple vending machine! All of a sudden, Doctor Physics got interesting! They make all these new apple breeds and then let you buy them from the vending machine!

They don’t even tell you what they are. Just “apple 5837204” or whatever.

It’s like a box of chocolates, which, I hear, is like life, which, I’m now finding out, is like an apple vending machine, which, I admit, I wish I could see at every store.

I love apples. Especially Granny Smith apples. They are so yummy. And a GREAT color. I like most green apples. And pink apples. Green and pink are my favorites.

Cornell should breed a Granny Smith/Pink Lady apple. THAT would be the perfect apple.

Unless they made an apple that tasted like gummy bears and looked like a dinosaur. That one might be a little more perfecter.

I’m off to vend an orchard.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj