school purse

There’s some big hoopla in the news about a boy and his purse. Apparently he had been using his Vera Bradley bag every day since August and just got suspended for it.

Well, the school says it was for cursing. But he can’t come back to school until he stops bringing his purse.

Because...um...having a purse makes you curse? Or maybe it’s a cursing purse? Like the sorting hat, but much ruder.

Also, they’re saying that the kids at the school are not allowed to bring bags into class.

Wait…what?! What is this bagless school?! I love that idea! Wanna know what was in my school bag? Books! Lame, boring books! If I couldn’t have a bag, guess what I would be doing in class. NOT LEARNING! That would have been awesome!

I bring this all up because I want more men to carry purses. For years, I had a messenger bag that I would always call “my purse.” Because, really, it did the exact same thing as a women’s purse.

Now that I’m getting older, I switched to a backpack (which I still call a purse sometimes). My shoulder couldn’t handle “the purse.” I decided less pain in two shoulders is better than lots of pain in one.

I carry a lot of stuff. I’m slightly obsessive about having my stuff with me all the time. I’m sure there’s a disorder for it. Well, I don’t like to say I’m disordered. Just differently ordered.

What makes a “bag that hangs on the shoulder” a purse or a messenger bag? Is it gender? Does it have to contain certain items? I have tissues, my phone, a water bottle, hand wipes, hand moisturizer (because the hand wipes dry out my hands!), a highlighter, a pen, a pencil, a notebook, eye drops, aspirin, sunglasses, and a few other random things.

So what does that make my bag? I’ll tell you! It makes my bag awesome! And strangely similar to Mary Poppins’ purse! And her purse never said a naughty word, either!

I’m off to purse my curse.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj