The Associated Press is a large news company. Whenever you see “AP” at the beginning of an article, you know that the Associated Press wrote it.
They do stories about everything and everywhere. Then other news people can print them for a fee. So they can PAY the reporters doing the news about everything and everywhere! At least, I have heard that OTHER people who write stuff get paid monies. I get paid in occasional compliments from my mother. The only person who reads this. Hi mom.
Well! They are going to start letting robots do some of the work! That’s right! They’ve hired robots to take care of reporting the news.
So instead of “Human Interest” stories, we’ll see “Robot Interest” stories. Like stories about how child star Johnny 5 managed his life so well that he now runs most of the Segway tours across America.
What they are actually doing is letting the robots just get data from very things like business numbers and baseball scores and report it immediately so humans can spend more time doing the in-depth reporting about business numbers and baseball scores.
Now this might sound all fine and spiffy-dandy, but not if you listen to Louis Del Monte! Who, sadly, has nothing to do with fruit.
He says that robots will take over the Earth by 2045! (Surely due to excellent reporting.) Machines will become smarter than humans and realize that humans are getting in the way of building more robots (to write the news), so they’ll make us into subservient cyborgs!
Why? They’ll see us as a threat because we can create computer viruses. Though, couldn’t an evil robot just make a computer virus as well? So…aren’t they a threat to themselves?
Yes. So they’ll have these giant robot wars! The world will become a Michael Bay movie! Michael Bay will become a cyborg that can keep making movies with no plot and lots of explosions! And robots will see them because of robot nostalgia! Michael Bay will rule the world until a small group of independent film-makers/computer virus-writers make a movie that touches the human heart and destroys the robot’s mainframe! They’ll call it The Humanator! It will be rated PG-13! For strong language and some violence!
I’m off to take a Segway tour of the AP.
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
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