applecatcher

There’s a lot in life that I don’t understand. Things that seem very common to some people, but I don’t get AT ALL.

I love apples. So I buy them a lot. But! They are precariously stacked at the store! What’s the deal with this crazy applestacking thing?! Why don’t they put some sort of barrier or wall at the bottom of the stack?

I mean, they are kinda roundish. Kinda roundish things can roll. If you look around for a good apple, and bump another apple, they all start rolling onto the floor! (This may or may not have happened to me recently.)

Who decided this? I always feel like I’m going to break something when I’m apple picking. They don’t do this with other products...just some of the produce.

It would be like people having to pick out cereal from a bucket. Just a giant bucket of Alpha-Bits in the middle of the aisle. You have to bring a plastic bag to the bucket and start grabbing Bits of Alpha and hope that you don’t drop any on the floor or accidentally lose your phone in the bucket. Then you have to put your kids in there to look for it and make everybody else in the store wait until your kids are done swimming in Alpha-Bits.

Or like having soup come out of a hose. You have to gently turn the faucet on so the soup doesn’t shoot out too fast when you fill a small can that you get at the end of the aisle. Any soup on the floor is just lost! Unless you try to soak it up with a paper towel and squeeze it back into the hose!

Don’t even ask how I got that paper towel! All I can say is that there was a ladder, frozen bacon, and three gum displays.

THAT is what it’s like trying to get an apple from the applestacks!

This is why people don’t eat enough fruits or vegetables. It is impossible to buy them.

But I do it. I put on my baseball mitt and hockey mask and I usually walk away with 3-5 apples.

The mitt is to catch apples. The mask is to frighten other shoppers who want to snag my apples.

I’m off to hose my soup.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj