moon dust

Remember when we were talking about moon water? Feels like it was just last week, huh? (It was.) Well guess what! There’s even MORE MOON stuff going on! It's getting dusty in here!

We just sent a new probe to the moon! Because we can’t figure out why it’s reflecting sunlight. Like, when we have cool effects at sunrise and sunset. The moon shouldn’t be able to do that. It’s lacking the atmosphere. But it could be because the moon is so dusty.

It’s like a lamp turning on even though it’s not plugged in. Shouldn’t be doing it, but it is!

Happens to me all the time. And I keep sending probes onto the lamp’s surface to find out what’s happening. I have no definitive answer so far, but I have 87 theories. Most of them involve elves. Three of them involve dust.

There is this kinda-sorta atmosphere around the moon. It’s barely there. But it does contain potassium and sodium! Two of my favorite elements! Potassium, because I love bananas. Sodium, because I hate getting attacked by Horrors at Party Beach. (Somebody might get that.)

What interests me, though, is that they used refurbished ICBMs to send this probe up. Yes. Intercontinental ballistic missiles. Well, not the missiles themselves, but their motors.

STILL! Is it safe to use refurb missiles?! I mean, seriously?! I’ve heard some pretty bad stories from people who buy refurb phones. But phones don’t ballisticate different continents!

It’s like an Interplanetary ballistic motor! Well, the moon isn’t quite a planet. But close enough.

Also, not to scare you, but we DO have an agreement with Russia to allow us to launch refurbished ICBMs. Because...I guess this happens all the time? What else are we refurbishing? And can I get any of it cheap online?

I’m off to dust the moon.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

not bear or bull

But monkey! It's a monkey market!

I don't know much (I know nothing) about stocks. I DO know that there are bears and bulls. Similar to my party last night (from what I remember).

Well, science and monkeys have given us more information about stocks! Actually, science and monkeys are pretty good at figuring out everything in the world.

Some researchers asked monkeys to pick their stocks. They also had fund managers pick some stocks. Guess who’s living in a tree made of gold now?

Yep! The monkeys! They picked the better stocks and used their billions to buy a gold and diamond forest filled with figs and bananas.

A very healthy diet. If you like potassium and fiber. And who doesn't?!

I think there should be a movie about bears and bulls and monkeys. Like Kung Fu Panda meets Wall Street. OH!  And there would be a Gecko! Because that's already kinda there!

Why isn't Disney/Pixar making more movies about stock trading? Seems like a silly decision to ignore the millions they could make in merchandising.

Like a bull in a suit. Or a monkey with an oak desk. A gecko in a jail cell.

ALL of them with Kung Fu action! Because, in my head, most stocks are traded after a Kung Fu fight.

Beware of my High Yield Attack! Finish him with the Capital Gains of Doom!

I'm off to diversify.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj