Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day! There is a lot of misinformation about this Irishly accented day, so I'm here to clear it up for you in the most convoluted way possible.
First of all, the original St. Patrick's Day color was blue, but it was changed to green for military reasons. See, there was this leprechaun named Maewyn Succat. He was a shoemaker in Ireland.
Now, you've probably heard the phrase, "everything is coming up ninjas." Well that comes from Ireland around 400 A.D. when there was a major ninja problem throughout the land. Maewyn was recruited by the Blarney Army to get rid of them.
The army generally wore blue, but Maewyn, codename: "St. Patrick," decided that green would be better camouflage in Ireland. (Look it up, that part about the color is actually true...um...just like the rest of this story...)
So "St. Patrick" and his Blarney Army were trained in the art of magic and were able to get rid of all the ninjas. And some snakes, too. There was this issue with snakes. Well, it wasn't really an issue, just some guy who was a parseltongue (one who can talk to snakes). Volde-something wanted to pull a prank on Ireland.
It was more of a nuisance than a real problem. Not like the ninjas, who would pop up everywhere and ninja you. Not that you would see it. Because they're ninjas. You just knew you got hit after a limb was missing. Even then, you might not have noticed for a few days.
Leprechauns still work in secret keeping Ireland safe from ninjas. Don't believe me? When's the last time you saw a ninja in Ireland?
Exactly. Never.
Leprechauns: keeping you safe from ninjas since 400 A.D.
I'm off to paint it green.
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
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