liquid gold

Tide. The detergent. It's called "liquid gold" on the black market. Because people are stealing it and selling it.

On the black market.

Detergent. For clothes.

It's not illegal or anything. You can still buy it in the store. Of ALL the stuff you COULD sell on the black market, you chose Tide?!

What is going on in America?! Why not sell something illegal? Like lasers or cloned dinosaurs? At least those are cool!

You: "Oh fuzzles...I ran out of detergent. What will I ever do."

Me: "I might know a guy who could help you out."

You: "What? Really? How?"

Me: "He may or may not be in a back alley and he may or may not have Tide."

You: "You mean the stuff I can buy in any store anywhere?"

Me: "Yes."

You: "Okay. Yeah. That's helpful. Because IT'S NOT LIKE I CAN'T GET THAT EVERYWHERE! You know what would be really useful? A LASER OR A DINOSAUR! DO YOU KNOW A GUY WHO CAN GET ME ONE OF THOSE?!

Me: "...no..."

You: "Then let me do my big laundry!"

Wow...you didn't have to yell at me in that scenario. And it wasn't that big. I've seen bigger laundry.

I'm off to find a dinosaur guy.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

ps. I know it's Pi day for 3/14 (3.14). But I JUST talked about Pi a few days ago. So go back to the Feb. 28 post. It'll be funny again. Pi promise.