woodpeckers will rule the world

I didn't realize how scared I should be of the mighty woodpecker. They use their beaks to hit wood with a force 1,000 times greater than gravity.

GRAVITY, I SAY! Have you ever tried to defy gravity?! It almost always wins!

I mean, my rocket ship (car) can sometimes defy gravity when going into space. But JUST BARELY. Imagine trying to jump if gravity was 1,000 TIMES STRONGER!

That's what it feels like to get hit by a woodpecker!

They have extra muscles and thicker bones to handle the pressure. They ALSO have an extra eyelid to prevent their eyes from popping out!

I bet YOU don't have that!

These are crazy birds that we should NEVER make fun of! Seriously, you do NOT want an angry woodpecker to attack you.

Here's what we need to do: Learn their language and join forces. So if...I mean WHEN...we get attacked by alien crustaceans with shellish body armor, we have wood pecking protection.

You laugh, but I hear things. It's this high pitched whine in my head. It could be an ear problem, but I'm pretty much almost 99% sure that it's messages from aliens. In my head. About an attack. With crustaceans.

That's why we need the woodpeckers.

And dragons. Dragons would be good, too.

I'm off to learn Morse code.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj