perfectly packed pickles, please

We are in the middle of International Pickle Week! Some of you may know that I'm a HUGE fan of the pickle. It is my favorite fruit/vegetable. I say fruit/vegetable because it is generally called a vegetable unless you go to court. By law, it is a fruit.

If you are ever in a law pickle where a pickle was used for something illegal, make sure you call it a fruit. The U.S. Supreme Court will (maybe) arrest you if you do not.

As much as I love pickles, I did NOT know there was an actual organization regulating pickles. Pickle Packers International has been "serving the pickled vegetable industry for over 100 years."

Or "pickled fruit industry" for you Supreme Courters.

The PPI has all sorts of great information on their website.

Wanna dance? Try the Pickle Polka!

Going out for a fancy date? You can buy some pickle earrings and a bracelet!

But they're not ALL fun & games! (Please ignore the fact that there is a "Fun & Games" section on their website.)

They will also test your pickle's crunch. For your pickle to be deemed an OFFICIAL pickle, it MUST have an audible crunch that can be heard from a minimum distance of 10 paces.

Anything less than that and the pickle is destroyed. And you are slapped with a much sturdier regulation pickle.

So be careful. I've been pickle-slapped before. It hurts.

Luckily, I was able to eat it after. And the Vitamin K healed my wounds. (In case you forgot, pickles are jam-packed with Vitamin K. And Vitamin K has been unproven to heal all wounds.)

I'm off to pickle polka.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj