what would you like for weather

The CIA wants to control your weather! For some reason, the CIA is giving money to the National Academy of Sciences to work on Geoengineering.

They want to find ways to get rid of all the CO2 that’s causing all those climate change problems.

They can also make it rain if they want. Because that’s fun to do as a prank.

I have NO idea why the CIA is funding this. Do greenhouse gases prevent them from gathering intelligence? Perhaps it’s harder to spy on people when it is so hot and humid?

I don’t know much about the CIA, but I would NOT expect them to have a “Who we are” section on the “Clandestine Service” page of their website. I mean, should you really be introducing the world to the secret spies?! Am I the only one who thinks it’s odd that our secret intelligence agencies have websites?!

I wonder how many people go to the CIA website every day? As an American citizen, I would probably never go there. If I was not so wholesome and I wanted to learn about the CIA, luckily they have a very good website to teach me about their secrets with a very informative "Frequently Asked Questions" section.

The BEST part is the “Games” section! I solved that puzzle in 21 seconds! I think the CIA will now hire me to be a secret agent!

Then they can put me on their not-so-secret/secret-agency website! Perhaps I can convince them to update the cheesy “Welcome to our company” video! (Yes, it’s on there. And I’m proud to say I love it. Viva America!)

So why is the CIA helping with geoengineering? I have no answer to that. Maybe it’ll be funny to make it rain on people trying to plot against us?

Bad person: “We will plot evil things using these plans I wrote out on all these pieces of paper and this computer.”

(Begins to rain a lot.)

Bad person: “Oh no! I can’t read my plans anymore and my computer is broken from too much water!”

America: “HA! Looks like Evil’s plans are ALL WET!”

In my head, America is a heroic turtle wearing a cape.

Just in case the CIA is reading my blog (because nobody else is), I do love what you do to help these United States. I’m just making jokes at your expense. My brother always told me that when you mock somebody, that means you love them. That’s how I know my brother loves me.

He never explained what beating me up meant.

I’m off to solve more puzzles for the CIA.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj