The universe is chocolate syrup. That is all you really need to know, because everything else is NOT IMPORTANT.
Physicists wanted to look at the viscosity of the universe.
No. Not Disco City. That’s to the east of Funky Town. But I can understand why you would think that. I thought the same thing. Maybe it’s just because I used to think the universe was a giant disco ball.
Now I know better. The universe has the same viscosity of chocolate syrup!
They sent sound waves through the universe to get more details on how it began. They found out that it is 20 pascal-seconds.
Exactly the same as chocolate syrup! Because everybody knows that chocolate syrup is 20 pascal-seconds?
Seriously, which physicist knew the viscosity of chocolate syrup?
Physicist A: “Looks like the universe is 20 pascal-seconds.”
Physicist B: “Wow! That’s the same as chocolate syrup!”
Physicist A: “How do you even know that?! Wait…have you been using our very expensive viscosity machine to see pascal-seconds of stuff from the fridge?”
Physicist B: “…maybe…”
Physicist A: “That’s awesome! Let’s go see if there’s anything new in there! Maybe somebody brought in hummus and matzo crackers!”
(For scientific accuracy, I tried looking up the viscosity of hummus and matzo crackers. I could not find them. Proving again that Wikipedia doesn’t know everything. I’m also banned from using the library computers.)
In my head, that’s the sort of thing physicists do all the time but never tell you. My brother keeps telling me he’s just working on boring computer chips or something. I know he’s really having dinosaur jousting tournaments in Funky Town.
I’m off to put some universe on my sundae.
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
No comments:
Post a Comment