vampires know science

A recent study on mice found that putting the blood of younger mice into older mice reversed their aging.

Yes! This might be the plot to a bad horror movie.

It is also real science! These scientists found that the blood of the younger mice gave the older mice stronger muscles and brains. The research is very interesting even though it’s mildly (very) creepy.

Now we know why vampires live so long! I mean, everybody is basically younger than a vampire!

You know what would be a great movie? The Umpire Vampire.

Scene: Late at night after a baseball game. It’s dark and the last person to leave the locker room is one of the players.

Umpire: Hello pitcher.

Player: I’m not the pitcher. I’m the shortstop.

Umpire: Oh, I didn’t mean your position. I meant that we will fill this pitcher…WITH YOUR BLOOD.

Player: NOOOOOOOO!

Sounds of blood being drained.

Umpire: (standing over lifeless body) You’re out…OF BLOOD!

Those are the only two jokes I have relating to baseball and vampires. So that’s pretty much the whole movie.

Also, the umpire stays young. Because science.

My next movie idea is about a unicorn that is also a vampire. It’ll be part of a trilogy. And the last movie will be two movies. Because everybody does a 4-part trilogy now.

I’m off to cast the vampicorn.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj