Scientists have found a plant in the Philippines that will eat nickel! Yes, if you drop your change on the ground in the Philippines, you better just forget about it because you will not see Jefferson again!
The cool thing about this plant is that it will eat a bunch of nickel and it won’t die. This is very strange for most living organisms. Lots of heavy metals in a biological system are usually really bad.
Except me. I can eat $34.62 in change and won’t get poisoned. But the surgery to remove it costs more than that, so it’s best if you don’t actually try that.
Also, doctors get to keep what they find in your stomach. It’s like finding change in the couch. Whoever finds it, gets to keep it. Doctors just have to clean their change a little more.
(Editor's Note: Eating money is a Very Bad Idea.)
Scientists hope that we can grow these plants in places with bad soil. Then, when the heavy metal is OUT of the soil, they can grow fun plants. Like watermelons!
Apparently there is a lot of heavy metal still in the soil after the 80s. Because there were so many outdoor concerts. Now they just have to get a plant that can eat all that hair.
Yeah…I know…When I was trying to think of a joke about heavy metal and soil, that’s the only one I could come up with. It’s not my best work, but I stand by it.
Also, the following jokes may or may not be worse. One isn’t even a joke. It’s just lazy.
So! If you have some heavy metal in the soil that you need to get rid of, you might want to try some of these flowers! Metallicarnations, Motley Crulips, Guns N’ Roses, and Megadaisies.
I’m off to start my Iron Garden.
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
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