King Richard III Skeletor

King Richard III has been found! Well...his skeleton has been found. I know. That's super exciting. Because you were TOTALLY looking for it.

Well stop looking in Utah! It's not there! It's in London, silly! In a parking lot! Where Richard III parked!

The Richard III Society is very happy about this.

Oh, you didn't know there was a whole Society for Richard III? Well there is! They do tons of fun stuff! Like...read books...and other...things!

That book joke is funny because he lifted bans on books and printing presses. Go ahead. You can laugh now.

They also think that Richard III was a good guy and that the Tudors spread super-mean rumors about him. They hope that finding his skeleton will help prove those rumors wrong. Because...you know...skeletons are great at talking...about Tudor tabloids...and reading books!

They did a bunch of tests to prove that this skeleton was, in fact, Richard III.

The best test? They have the 17th great-grand-nephew of the King's sister around for a DNA test!

He makes cabinets. If I were him, I would totally use my lineage to impress people.

Me: "Hey. I make cabinets."

You: "That's lame."

Me: "And I'm the 17th great-grand-nephew of King Richard III's sister."

You: "Mildly less lame."

Score.

I'm off to be mildly less lame.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

does this make me look fan

I know I shouldn't care about what I look like at the gym. And most of the time, I really don't. I mean, I'll go to the gym after I wake up on the weekends and trust me, my hair is an odd site at that time of the morning.

Plus, most of my gym shirts are old with holes. But it's the gym! Who cares!

So why am I insecure at this moment? I'll explain...

I always bring stuff to the gym. Especially something to read. Because the gym is really, really boring. Like, the elliptical. There's NOTHING to do. The best thing is when I'm in a play, so I learn lines.

Also, reading books on my phone works well because I can make the text much bigger and it's easy to read while I'm moving.

Now that all of that exposition is out of the way, here's the problem. I want to switch it up. I was thinking I could start using the stationary bike. If I use the bike, I can read a book in BOOK form! Because there's less shimmy!

So I would have to bring a script, a phone/digital book, AND a real paper-page book! THAT is a lot of stuff! I thought that maybe I could wear a fanny pack, but I don't know if that's a little too much for the gym. Would people judge me? Would I become the "fanny pack" guy? Is that a bad thing to be?

I'm pretty sure I'll look hardcore lifting weights with a fanny pack. I mean, really, it is tough. But it's the running I'm afraid of. It would bounce around a lot. A bouncing fanny might not be comfortable.

Wait...that came out wrong...you know what I mean.

If you see a guy with a fanny pack reading at the gym, that's me. If I look insecure, please come up to me and tell me my fanny looks cool. That will make me feel better. Thanks. You're the bestest!

I'm off to run and read.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj