nothing to hold flu back

A professor in Wisconsin has created a deadly flu virus. YEP! He did! For funsies!

He took the H1N1 virus that caused so many problems a few years ago and “genetically manipulated” it. He wanted to make it so the human immune system had no chance of stopping it.

Because that’s what people do in Wisconsin. You know, when they’re not leading the nation in cheese production, visiting the House on the Rock, or playing at one of their uniquely themed mini golf courses.

Isn’t this the beginning of some sort of apocalyptic thriller movie? Or the latest Planet of the Apes movie?

Whatever it is, who does that?!

Professor 1: “I love scansion. Don’t you? I find it STRESSES some people out, but that’s just SILLY-ble! Ha!”

Professor 2: “I made a flu that humans can’t fight.”

Professor 1: “Wow. This conversation did NOT go the way I was thinking. Like, AT ALL.”

Professor 2: “Sorry, I was trying to think of a flu pun, but nothing came up.”

Professor 1: “Well, it rhymes with ‘you,’ so any phrase with ‘you’ in it should work.”

Professor 2: “How about, ‘Flu had me at hello?’ Since, you know, you don’t have an immunity to this flu. It just takes you over.”

Professor 1: “It’s not the best I’ve heard, but…wait, what is going on here?!”

And the rest is history. Well, not history yet. It will be history after Bruce Willis goes back in time to stop the virus. Or something. I don’t think I’ve ever watched 12 Monkeys, but I think that’s what happens.

Or is that Looper?

Bruce! Stay in one year! Sheesh!

Anyway, hopefully this professor just wanted to find a way to fight the unfightable flu.

I’m off to look at verse with or without flu.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

animals need tissues

Animals are getting sick. Maybe on purpose?

We had bird and piggy flu. Now we have to watch out for Seal Flu!

When it started with the birds, we thought it was a fluke ("fluke" as in accident, not the fish). Then the pigs got the flu, but it didn't seem too bad.

Now that seals want to give us the flu, a conspiracy arises. These animals are INFECTING THEMSELVES with the flu just to give us the sniffles!

Turtles don't do that. They actually try to avoid the flu by wearing little wool caps. Because they know how cute it looks.

Seals would look cute with wool caps, too. But they don't wear them. Because they want the flu.

Silly seals.

I think there are very few things that are cuter than turtles wearing little wool caps.

I also think that acorns don't get enough credit for growing into trees.

Did you know that it's good luck to put an acorn on your windowsill? It's supposed to protect you from getting struck by lightning. At least, that's what it did for Thor. I don't know why that matters to Thor, though. He can summon lightning, so I figure he can just unsummon it...right?

Maybe if I put some acorns in my nose and a wool cap on my head I won't get seal flu. Or struck by lightning.

Maybe that's not a good idea. Not after the marble incident.

Don't put marbles in your nose.

I'm off to find some acorns and wool.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj