and knitting and knitting and knitting

In Norway, you can watch people knit on TV! LIVE!

They plan on showing somebody break the world record of non-stop knitting. Well, attempt to break the record.

The record is 4 hours and 50 minutes. So they have blocked out 5 hours to have somebody do it, without stopping, so they can unravel that record.

Now, if you don't want to go into this wondering what knitting is, they are going to show a 4-hour documentary on every step it takes to get the wool from a sheep to a cozy sweater.

That's a full NINE HOURS OF KNITTING. Because people in Norway are so completely relaxed and chill that this is what they consider "action."

Don't believe me? They are doing this because of the great ratings they got when they showed logs of wood on fire until they just...stopped...burning. Also, they showed UNEDITED salmon fishing. Just sitting there...waiting...waiting...waiting for something salmony to happen.

THIS is what I call reality TV. No editing. No script. Just. Stuff. Happening.

Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE knitting. Knitters have given me a scarf, fingerless gloves, and a tie. (Yes, I have a tie made of yarn. Because my knitting friends are amazingly awesome and hilarious.)

But I don't know if I could handle watching somebody knit for 5 hours. That might be a little too crazy for me. I mean, I sometimes get too excited just staring at the TV when it's unplugged. I can't imagine how wild things would get if I actually plugged it in AND turned it on!

Whoa...I have to calm down. I'm getting a little light-headed.

I'm off to relax and see what's on the blank screen.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

animals need tissues

Animals are getting sick. Maybe on purpose?

We had bird and piggy flu. Now we have to watch out for Seal Flu!

When it started with the birds, we thought it was a fluke ("fluke" as in accident, not the fish). Then the pigs got the flu, but it didn't seem too bad.

Now that seals want to give us the flu, a conspiracy arises. These animals are INFECTING THEMSELVES with the flu just to give us the sniffles!

Turtles don't do that. They actually try to avoid the flu by wearing little wool caps. Because they know how cute it looks.

Seals would look cute with wool caps, too. But they don't wear them. Because they want the flu.

Silly seals.

I think there are very few things that are cuter than turtles wearing little wool caps.

I also think that acorns don't get enough credit for growing into trees.

Did you know that it's good luck to put an acorn on your windowsill? It's supposed to protect you from getting struck by lightning. At least, that's what it did for Thor. I don't know why that matters to Thor, though. He can summon lightning, so I figure he can just unsummon it...right?

Maybe if I put some acorns in my nose and a wool cap on my head I won't get seal flu. Or struck by lightning.

Maybe that's not a good idea. Not after the marble incident.

Don't put marbles in your nose.

I'm off to find some acorns and wool.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

don't complain, it's natural

Gassy dinosaurs caused global warming! YEP! All that methane from giant dinos made for a "hot, wet Mesozoic era." Can you IMAGINE what that smelled like?!

Stinky!

Unlike me. I'm never stinky.

And you, too. You are never stinky.

Aren't we lucky to never be stinky like that? We are.

So these dinosaurs were tootin' up a storm keeping the planet nice and warm for all their dinosaur games when suddenly, out of nowhere, a giant rock from the planet Krypton crashes into Earth and blocks out the sun!

No more sun meant no more plants. And no more plants meant no more food. No more food meant no more methane keeping us all snuggly warm.

That's when the Ice Cream Age started! That's my favorite. It was all vanilla and yummy.

Dinosaurs ate all the ice cream. But ice cream didn't make them gassy, so it stayed cold and they didn't have wool socks to keep them warm because sheep hadn't been invented yet.

So they froze and only came back recently like Captain America.

Luckily, now we can enjoy ice cream with Captain America on hot, wet Mesozoic days.

I'm off to produce some methane.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj