my phone is too big

That line is hilarious to two other people. One of them probably doesn’t even remember me. The other probably isn’t reading this right now.

But in my head, I’m laughing so hard that if I were drinking some sort of liquid, it would be coming out of my nose. And possibly other places as well.

I'm afraid this post will get all ranty and I apologize for that. (I don't really, I love to rant!)

I realize that I’m often different. I don’t know how it happened. I remember when I first got a smartphone. It wasn’t that long ago, so if I didn’t remember it, we would have to worry about my brain.

It’s a good phone. It does what I want. Calls people. Texts people. Checks twitter. Plays Words with Friend. Maybe someday I’ll get another friend and I can upgrade to Words with Friends.

The phone isn’t bleeding edge. It wasn’t even newish when I got it. It just does what I need. Now, it’s been a few years and I’m looking for a new phone, but I was hoping for something smaller.

WHAT?! SMALLER?!?! Who wants that?! Well…me, I guess. And apparently I’m the only one.

My phone has a 4.3-inch screen. Which is actually average to small these days. But I hate carrying around something so big!

So, I’m thinking of getting an iPhone 4s with a 3.5-inch screen. Because I'm very secure.

I really thought I would want a big screen, but I’m finding out that I really hate carrying it around.

Why am I talking about this? I have no idea. I just needed to vent. And my Friend from Words is sick of hearing about it.

Though, Apple doesn’t have Swype. Swype is a magical keyboard that makes me happier than peanut butter. You should try it.

But, I am a fan of items named after fruit. Especially apples. Apples are good.

But apples and peanut butter are even better.

I’m off to compare sizes.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

the computer in your hand

I saw some video a few weeks ago that has stuck in my mind. It was Newton Leroy Gingrich. You might call him Newt. Because you’re his buddy. And when you buddy with somebody, you shorten their name.

At least, that’s what I see people do on television. I don’t know what it’s like to have a buddy.

Newty Newt put out a video about his phone. His “smartphone.” He doesn’t like the name. He says that it is no more phone than it is a computer. Basically, it’s a computer that also makes phone calls. All from the palm of your hand!

And he’s absolutely right! Yeah, these things basically started out as phones, but are you really making phone calls on it?! NO! You’re playing games and looking at Facebook and taking pictures for Instagram!

It is, in fact, a device that communicates with other devices. Hence, the first name I will propose to Newton. A “Communicator.”

Just like they used in Star Trek! I think it would be a fitting homage to a show about the future that we are finally catching up to. So, if you ever ask me to text you, I will use my communicator to do it.

If you don’t like that name, I have one more to propose. “Dragon.”

You: “Could you check on the weather?”

Me: “Sure, let me just get my dragon and find out.”

You: “And then call Newton about the movies?”

Me: “Absolutely. I’ll call him with my dragon.”

You: “Also, could you attack an evil castle holding a demon wizard casting a spell of lameness over the world?”

Me: “Yep! My dragon will take care of that! With a very awesome app!”

See?! Wouldn't you look cool if you had a dragon, too?!

Or you could keep calling it a smartphone. Yawn.

I’m off to watch youtube with my dragon.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj