the greatish escape

I love my neighborhood. I've only lived in a few places, but I've always been lucky. There is always something...unexpected...waiting for me.

Like a mattress on the bushes. As you know, I'm a fan of the mattress on a car. Because, as stated in an earlier blog, you take a nap on it and the car will drive you home. Or a candy store. Either is fine.

But the mattress and box spring on the bushes confuzzles me. It's those TALL bushes that people use as a fence-like property boundary thing. Privacy shrubbery.

Then, I figured it out! An escape plan! I've watched movies where people have to climb over a barbwire fence and they put something over the sharpies so they don't get hurt.

Have you ever tried to run through bushes? They're sharp! So to avoid all the blood lossery, somebody threw a mattress on the top of the bushes and climbed over!

Take that blood! You're staying in the body!

I'm not sure WHO needed to escape from that house, but I DO have a theory.

In my head, there is this dog and cat who have been working on a comedy act. It's pretty hilarious. (It is in my head, at least.) But the house has one of those laser fences that you can't see. The dog and the cat dragged the mattress (and box spring) out of the house and threw it on top of the bushes and then escaped!

Now they're on the road trying to make it big.

In my head, they make tons of money and I'm their agent. But we only talk on the phone because I'm allergic to them.

My carrots are not good today. That has nothing to do with the story in my head. It has everything to do with the carrots in my Gladware. They are gross.

I wouldn't even give them to my animal clients. Because I'm a good agent.

I'm off to shrub the yard...and buy new carrots.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj