tastes just like real water

I bought a bottle of water the other day. Don’t worry! I generally fill my metal water bottle up at home instead of using plastic bottles all the time. And I recycle, too.

But, if I DO buy the plastic bottles of water, I’m a Fiji guy. TOTALLY Fiji! It’s SO GOOD. I can’t explain it.

I was at facility that did not allow me to purchase Fiji water. I bought another brand. I will not say what kind, but I WILL tell you exactly what the bottle says.

“Enhanced with minerals for a pure, fresh taste.”

So the water wasn’t pure enough? It needed added "pure" flavoring? Shouldn’t water just taste like…um…water? And pure?

Though, I’m one to talk. My water always tastes like coffee. Mostly because I add coffee beans to my water. Partly because I never clean my coffee mug and even if I just fill it with water, it tastes like coffee.

I don’t think we use our sense of taste enough. We always use hearing to have conversations. Vision to see where we are going. Touch to hold things or find out if they are hot. Smell to check our armpits.

Shouldn’t we try tasting to do some of these things? You could lick your friends face to find out who it is! Or lick a bird to identify its birdie calls! Lick the stove to find out if it is hot! Even lick your armpits to check for freshness!

Editor’s Note: All of these are bad ideas and you should not do them. Some of them might actually cause pain or disease. Others are just dumb.

Writer’s Note: My editor is not adventurous at all.

In other news, I drank so much coffee today that I don’t know if any of my senses will work. So drinking water that only tastes like water will probably have the same effect as water that actually tastes like water.

I think I got that right. It might be the coffee talking, but I’m pretty sure I can identify water by licking it.

I’m off to check my armpits.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj