big wheels for big people

Um…This. Is. Awesome. A company called High Roller USA has created a Big Wheel for adults!

You remember your Big Wheels, right? That trike that was mostly plastic and TOTALLY AWESOME!

Now I don’t have to keep stealing Big Wheels from the kid down the street. Luckily, they keep buying new ones because they break really fast when I ride them. Possibly because I’m an adult. Most likely because I ride it like a beast.

The High Roller is pretty expensive. It’s $600. A kid’s Big Wheel is about $60.

But again, IT’S TOTALLY AWESOME. If I had the money, I would have bought mine already. Actually, I would be writing this right now ON the High Roller.

If you have the money, buy me one last week so I CAN be writing this on one.

In my head, the High Roller also allows me to travel through time. And has lasers on the handlebars. Just in case evil mutant mosquitoes start crawling out of the sewers.

Maybe you’re not worried about that, but you’ve never been to my neighborhood. Which may or may not actually exist in reality.

You know what else I would like an adult-sized version of? My happy-face car. After doing some research, it looks like it was a “Little Tikes Cozy Coupe.” It was, in fact, a coupe that was cozy. And I would like to be cozy again. So please make that bigger.

OH! And those carriages at the supermarket! The huge ones with the car front for kids to sit it! Why don’t they make those for adults?! I would totally shop in one of those!

I guess I’ll just have to sit in a regular carriage. At least I still fit in those.

I’m off to get cozy in a coupe.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj