Friday, October 25, 2013

butterflies will drink your tears

Because they’re hardcore like that. First they make you cry. Then they laugh. Then they drink your tears. Not so much as a way to mock you, but because they enjoy salty water.

It turns out that butterflies will land on turtles and drink their tears. Because of the sodium. Turtles cry sodium. SODIUM!

Not yell it, silly! (Even though it’s super fun to yell the word sodium.) Like, when you cry watching Bridge to Terabithia! (At least, that's what makes me cry. A lot.)

I just find this funny because when I usually hear somebody in a movie yell about drinking tears, it’s by a fairly evil person making children cry in sadness.

Unless butterflies ARE evil and like to destroy the will of turtles! I know they look all pretty and fluttery, but you should see the way they attack poor defenseless flowers. It’s ruthless.

Literally, there are no Ruths around. At all. It’s crazy.

I wonder if I would attract butterflies to me if I put salt on my skin? Would they start attacking me? Would they laugh as they landed on me to torment me with their proboscis?

I’m very antiboscis, so I don’t think I would appreciate their proboscisity.

Maybe I should just bring a sad turtle to the butterfly conservatory. Then I can have lots of butterflies visit. And I won’t have to pour salt all over myself. Which may or may not be uncomfortable.

I wouldn’t be surprised if I heard about a spa that does a butterfly facial by putting salt on your face and letting butterflies attack. Oh...I should start that spa! I’d be a great spa owner! I’m all about pampering! I pamper like crazy!

I’m off to salt and spa.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

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