stop doing that

I saw a list from some website called “Uncoached” that gave suggestions of “Stuff Guys Need to Stop Doing!”

I am a guy. And I DIS-A-GREE.

For example! Raising the roof! I don’t know if they decided that it is acceptable for a gal to raise the roof, but it should be encouraged for all genders!

Let's say you’re having a party that is ALMOST so amazing that it might be figuratively and/or literally raising the roof. How do you make the roof-raising happen? By encouraging all the invitees at your party to raise the roof! And how do you do that? By using the internationally recognized sign for raising the roof!

Also, if you decided to build another floor on your home, you will need to raise the roof. If the construction crew comes over and asks what they need to do, you can easily show them. So, please, guys (and gals), feel free to keep raising the roof.

Another thing on the list is pounding the fist. I don’t know if they want us to shake hands, but I’m not a fan of the shaking. It’s always awkward and weird and sometimes hands are sweaty. Fist bumps? Not awkward and there are significantly fewer sweat glands on the knuckles than the palms. It’s a scientific fact. (One that may or may not be true.)

The one thing on the list that I do kinda-sorta agree with is chest bumping. The only reason I’m not a fan of this is due to my lack of chestiness. After years of attempting to create a chest at the gym, I’m still just a big rib cage. When I do get chest bumped, I generally get winded and fall over.

This list did not specify if gals are included in these “stop doings.” I don’t know what gals generally do, anyway, but can’t see why they wouldn’t want to do all of these things. I’m all about equality.

In gender AND math.

I’m off to bench and press.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj