Wednesday, July 23, 2014

the cia museum may or may not exist

The CIA can neither confirm nor deny the fact that they have a museum.

Well, that’s not true. They do have one. But you can’t go there. Because it’s in the CIA compound and you aren’t allowed in.

So what’s the point of the museum?! I mean, seriously! I would museum that place like crazy!

Sure it’s all online for me to see, but that’s not nearly as much fun as being there!

Apparently, the CIA also has a gift shop. Not IN the museum. Just there. For you to buy stuff.

Now, I know I’m not even close to being qualified to deal with national secrets, but I mean, couldn’t you just move all the stuff from one spot to another spot maybe outside of the CIA building? Like, just outside of the compound and put the gift shop out there, too?

I mean, if all this stuff CAN be seen, why not let people see it? And put the gift shop at the end of the museum? THAT is how you get people. You make them exit through the gift shop.

Kids love junk like that. Like baby’s first Escape & Evasion Survival Kit. Or a Civil Air Transport Notepad/Diary. Or maybe a stuffed William J. Donovan Desk so the kids can cuddle at night with memories of memos from World War II.

I know they’re all about discretion, but should the museum be one of them? I would love a selfie with a Dynazoom. Post that on Instagram #CIA #secrets #centralintelligenceagenselfie #lookoutimaspy

I wonder if they need a curator. How sweet would that job be?! Nobody can go there, so what do I have to do? Dust a few things? Sweep once a week? Run around in a U-2 helmet and scare the pants off of spies from other planets?

Oh my…I want that job so bad right now!

I’m off to check the employment opportunities at the CIA.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

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