it’s knit woven

I was looking at my shirts the other day and wondering why they are different. This might be common knowledge to most people, I don’t know. But if it is NOT, then you are in for a treat!

I know my button-up shirts are made of cotton. The tag tells me that. I ALSO know that my t-shirts are made of cotton. Right! Because of the magical tag! It's tagical!

But! The button-ups are not nearly as comfy as the t-shirts! They’re not whooshy! The button-up shirts are very stiff and don’t move around as easily and I couldn’t figure out why.

I mean, they’re both 100% cotton! Completely cotton! There is nothing but cotton on these shirts! I bet the tags and buttons are made of cotton! Because they are 100% COTTON.

So why the difference? Well…this took some intense online research. I couldn’t figure out the best way to search for it because NOTHING was coming up. Sometimes I confoogle google.

Finally, I thought of underwear. Yes! Underwear saved the day! I remembered that Hanes has different kinds of boxers. Some are like a t-shirt and some are like a button-up. So I went to their website to find out what they called them.

Wovens and knits. THAT is the difference! It has to do with HOW they connect the cotton! Knits can stretch a lot more. Making them much whooshier. Woven cottons are made to nonwhoosh.

Now you know. And now I know. I still don’t know why they don’t make knit button-up shirts. Knit-shirts are so much more comfortable! They move with me. And if you know me, I gots crazy moves.

I’m like an octopus with a beat.

You have an iPod? I have a cephaloPod.

Boom to the loom. Take THAT cotton.

I’m off to knit and weave.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

octopi are not irrational

Did you get the math joke there? Funny, right? I know. I’ll give you a minute to catch your breath after laughing so hard.

Ready? Good. NOW WATCH OUT! Octopi (or octopuses) are going to get you! More and more research on octopuses is telling us that these cephalopods are smarter than you think and might be planning a worldwide invasion.

Well, they don’t have proof of that yet, but it could be true!

There have been lots of studies that are telling us that octopi are very intelligent. They can build shelters and go through mazes and sometimes even break out of their aquariums to sneak into OTHER aquariums to get food!

You know what else does that? Human children. How do I know? I did it when I was a toddler. There was no food in my room, so I broke out and went to the stash in the fridge.

In Britain, there is even a law saying that octopuses are “honorary vertebrates.” This gives them protection that other invertebrates don’t get when it comes to scientific research.

Though, I kinda feel badly for invertebrates now.

I totally need a pet octopus. How awesome would that be! If I needed food, it could sneak out and steal it from other aquariums! (I’m hoping my neighbors keep cake in their aquariums.)

Should we worry about octopi taking over the world? Yes. They’re like ninjas. Eight-limbed, ink-shooting ninjas.

THAT is something you don’t want to fight on a Tuesday.

I’m off to apply for an honorary vertebrate license.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj