the sprouts are outs

So I tried some Brussels sprouts the other day. It was a frozen meal. It was sprouts with butter.

It was…ok. I haven’t had Brussels sprouts very often. I had them a few years ago and they were good. I don’t remember the recipe, but it was not microwaved from a box.

As I was eating these leafy greens and watching My Little Pony, I thought about the name. Why are they called Brussels sprouts? Does it have to do with the actual city of Brussels?

YES! It does! I guess that’s where they started growing them a lot and the name just stuck!

Should they be possessive? Like, Brussels’ sprouts? Showing Brusselseses ownership of them?

Whoa! Did you know that there is a mathematical game called sprouts? And there is a variation called Brussels Sprouts?!

It’s true! You have to use a pencil to play. And paper. It’s probably fun for mathematicians. It involves dots and lines. Euler is mentioned in there. And you know what they say in math, “Nothing’s cooler than Euler!” (It's math...it doesn't have to rhyme.)

Am I the only one here getting excited about Mathematical Vegetables?! (That would be a good band name.)

I bet the game is as fun as the vegetable tastes. Maybe if they put butter on the pencil and paper, it would be slightly better.

Didn’t work for the vegetable, but you know, Math Butter. (Also a good band name.)

I’m not sure what that is, but it sounds gross.

Unless Fabio was selling it to me. “I can’t believe it’s not math.”

I’m off to butter my logarithm.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

octopi are not irrational

Did you get the math joke there? Funny, right? I know. I’ll give you a minute to catch your breath after laughing so hard.

Ready? Good. NOW WATCH OUT! Octopi (or octopuses) are going to get you! More and more research on octopuses is telling us that these cephalopods are smarter than you think and might be planning a worldwide invasion.

Well, they don’t have proof of that yet, but it could be true!

There have been lots of studies that are telling us that octopi are very intelligent. They can build shelters and go through mazes and sometimes even break out of their aquariums to sneak into OTHER aquariums to get food!

You know what else does that? Human children. How do I know? I did it when I was a toddler. There was no food in my room, so I broke out and went to the stash in the fridge.

In Britain, there is even a law saying that octopuses are “honorary vertebrates.” This gives them protection that other invertebrates don’t get when it comes to scientific research.

Though, I kinda feel badly for invertebrates now.

I totally need a pet octopus. How awesome would that be! If I needed food, it could sneak out and steal it from other aquariums! (I’m hoping my neighbors keep cake in their aquariums.)

Should we worry about octopi taking over the world? Yes. They’re like ninjas. Eight-limbed, ink-shooting ninjas.

THAT is something you don’t want to fight on a Tuesday.

I’m off to apply for an honorary vertebrate license.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

stop doing that

I saw a list from some website called “Uncoached” that gave suggestions of “Stuff Guys Need to Stop Doing!”

I am a guy. And I DIS-A-GREE.

For example! Raising the roof! I don’t know if they decided that it is acceptable for a gal to raise the roof, but it should be encouraged for all genders!

Let's say you’re having a party that is ALMOST so amazing that it might be figuratively and/or literally raising the roof. How do you make the roof-raising happen? By encouraging all the invitees at your party to raise the roof! And how do you do that? By using the internationally recognized sign for raising the roof!

Also, if you decided to build another floor on your home, you will need to raise the roof. If the construction crew comes over and asks what they need to do, you can easily show them. So, please, guys (and gals), feel free to keep raising the roof.

Another thing on the list is pounding the fist. I don’t know if they want us to shake hands, but I’m not a fan of the shaking. It’s always awkward and weird and sometimes hands are sweaty. Fist bumps? Not awkward and there are significantly fewer sweat glands on the knuckles than the palms. It’s a scientific fact. (One that may or may not be true.)

The one thing on the list that I do kinda-sorta agree with is chest bumping. The only reason I’m not a fan of this is due to my lack of chestiness. After years of attempting to create a chest at the gym, I’m still just a big rib cage. When I do get chest bumped, I generally get winded and fall over.

This list did not specify if gals are included in these “stop doings.” I don’t know what gals generally do, anyway, but can’t see why they wouldn’t want to do all of these things. I’m all about equality.

In gender AND math.

I’m off to bench and press.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj