hello, my name is awesome

Wouldn’t you be thankful if your parents named you Awesome?

You would! And that’s why a woman is trying to change her daughter’s middle name!

A woman in Alaska had a daughter a few years ago. Here name is Viviana Contea Flores. When mom was pregnant, she asked her 11-year-old son to help her pick a name.

He said Danger. Because her son knows what cool is.

Mom said no to that. So he asked about giving the new baby the middle name of Awesome.

Mom said no to that, too! I mean, seriously, why ask if you’re going to say no to perfectly valid names?

But! Mom has finally realized that Awesome is an AWESOME name! And is trying to change it legally!

If you want my advice, why not go all the way? Danger Awesome Flores is a great name. Or even Awesome Danger Flores.

But really, what’s the point of a middle name? Your last name identifies your family. I guess it’s useful when addressing people with proper titles or something. And the first name is what people call you.

I suppose some people want to be called by their middle name if they don’t like their first name. Also, some parents give their children multiple middle names. I don’t know why. Maybe they couldn’t decide on just one? Or they want them to write fantasy books? Just add "R.R." and you have a hit!

Can I get some more middle names? I think I would like to add Awesome to my name. Maybe Purple. Or TARDIS! That’s a good one!

Or just change my name completely! To Awesome R.R. Purple TARDIS!

Now I understand the middle name! Without it, there would be no Purple! And I like Purple!

Sometimes I just amaze myself.

I’m off to Alaska. R.R.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

hug my waist

Well, now I HAVE to talk about my belts!

I need new belts. The old ones are falling apart. I found a few that are totally (purple) awesome. And who wants a belt UNLESS it is totally awesome?!

Belts can be hard for me. Because I always put them on upside down.

I'm generally right-handed. But for some reason, I loop my belts like a lefty. And when the belt has images or writing on it (as all totally rad belts should), they look upside down!

I also put my watch on the wrong arm. Well, I used to. When I wore a watch. Do they even make watches these days? But, yeah, I had to use my left hand to put my watch on my right wrist.

Oh, hockey, too. I was a lefty in hockey. I know, weird. Why would I play hockey?

Luckily, my perception of the world is totally wrong! Possibly due to an astigmatism. I don't know. When I put my belts on upside down, I'm pretty sure I'm seeing them right side up, but in the other direction.

When I wore a watch, I'm think I looked at the correct wrist for the time. Though, time is pretty relative, so whether I looked at the right wrist or the wrong wrist depends on whether you were moving forwards or backwards in time.

Which, as stated earlier this week, I do both.

Hockey...THAT is a mystery I may never solve. I was the goalie most of the time. Mostly because I was lazy and didn't want to move. Partly because the coach couldn't deal with me talking about watches and belts and wanted me as far away from him as possible.

Still, I was the best and most differently perceived goalie EVER.

I'm off to hold my pants up.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

the seas they are a-changin'

There's some issue with carbon dioxide. Like, we have lot of it. And it's causing all sorts of crazy changes in the ocean.

Science is always wondering, "Will changes in the atmosphere create giant sea creatures that will attack the humans and take over the world? And will they be led by Aquaman or Namor? Or Poseidon?"

At least, that's what I hear Science asking all the time. You might not, but you would if you hung out with Science like I do! We went to the park the other day and that was the question Science asked all day! That and, "How come you're so awesome?"

Science can't answer that question, but they CAN answer the first one! By testing things! FOR SCIENCE!

It turns out crabs will evolve into GIANT CRABS because of the increased carbon dioxide! Being giants, they will be hungry and eat all the oysters.

Then they'll probably eat people. Because peoples are kinda like oysters. Especially the peoples who wear pearls (ladies)!

ALSO! After watching the purple (one of my favoritest colors and the color of my new belt...but don't get me started on belts) sea urchin eat more carbon dioxide, Science found out it can totally mutate into...a purple sea urchin THAT COULD TOLERATE HIGHER CARBON DIOXIDE LEVELS.

How scary is that?!

Not scared yet? Try THIS nugget of facting on for size: purple sea urchins hang out with sea otters a lot. Can you imagine a group of angry purple sea urchins getting mad and asking their sea otter friends to attack all the humans left without pearls?!

It would be the cutest attack in history!

Then the sea otters and crabs would fight for world domination!

I hope the sea otters win. And that the purple sea urchins like me. Because I like purple. So don't eat me.

I'm off to check my carbon dioxide.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj