hug a slug

The medical world is ready to slug you! Well, not slug you, but slug glue you.

Did you know that the goo that slugs (or terrestrial gastropod mollusks) slide around on could replace your stitches? Yep! They have found that the slug goo will seal your wounds AND move with your skin!

That means no more stitches or scars!

It also means a carnivorous slug might attack you! It’s true! There are carnivorous terrestrial gastropod mollusks! And they hunt by following a slime trail. You get slugness on you, then you become part of that trail. Hopefully you don’t bump into any giant, mutant carnivorous slugs after getting a large wound.

There is also the chance that another slug will ask you out on a date! Which is, I think, slightly better than getting eaten by a slug. Slugs will follow the slime trail of the same species of slug and see if they’re interested in a date.

These are all very real possibilities when it comes to a slug life.

Actually, the biology professor who is studying this has “SLUG LIFE” tattooed on his knuckles. Because he’s cool like that.

I wonder what it would be like if people had to secrete goo to live. I mean, I’ve had a runny nose before, but I don’t think that’s the same thing.

Still, I’ve been really sick and have had some REALLY gross nose adventures! I’m sure you want to hear all about them some day!

Wait…does that mean that there are slugs in my head? When I’m sick, I must have a carnivorous slug trying to eat my brain!

Then it will take over my mind and make me do ungastropodal things! Like…hold things with an opposable thumb!

Or maybe I’m already in the slugs clutches...(dramatic pause)

If I blow my nose, don’t come near me. Save yourself! It’s already too late for me!

I’m off to follow the slime trail.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj