cruise for a living

Did you know there is a cruise ship that people live on? They have apartments and just live their life on this boat!

My dad loves cruises. I could see him living on a ship for the rest of his life. I don’t know if he knows about this boat. But he will now! (If he reads this. He might not.)

This boat has 165 apartments on it. You buy one and then you live there. It’s called “The World.” It has a deli, restaurants, a grocery store, movie theater, library, and so much more!

Then...IT JUST CRUISES! On the ocean! It stops at ports for a few days if you want to go out somewhere. It stocks up on food and supplies. Then goes out again!

That’s it! Always cruising!

A studio apartment costs about $600,000. Suites are $13,500,000. And there are monthly home-owner fees.

It’s possible that price is the reason my dad doesn’t live there yet. I’m hoping to becoming rich one day so I can buy him a room.

But still! You can live on a boat forever! Every few days you’re in a new place!

I wonder if they need any employees. I mean, I could run a library…ON A BOAT. If somebody doesn’t return their book on time, I don’t have to go far to find them. THEY ARE STUCK ON A BOAT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN!

Don’t try stealing a book from MY library. I will track you down even if I have to walk all the way from starboard to port. Then I will throw you in the brig! Unless you pay "The Late Fees of the Seven Seas." (If you say that like a pirate, it sounds cooler.)

OH! They are hiring people! I just looked at their website! They need a Sous Chef. I could totally fake being a Sous Chef. I have no idea what the word “sous” means, but I’m sure I can sous like crazy. I will actually put that I have my doctorate in sous. They could call me Dr. Sous.

I’m off to sous on a boat. And I will sous in a coat.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

magic eye magic car

Do you remember the magic eye posters? Find the 3-D image in the weird picture? They still make them. They actually have a Harry Potter Magic Eye Book! Which makes total sense because Harry Potter is magic!

I was driving home and thinking that maybe it would be cool to have a big bumper sticker on my car that was a magic eye image. It would say "PLEASE STOP" or something. I say that because, if somebody was getting sleepy behind the wheel and their eyes weren't focused, they would see the "STOP" message and stop their car instead of hitting me!

Good idea, right?!

Then I thought, how cool would it be to have my whole car be a 3-D image of something! Like a whale or boat or another kind of car!

Then people would see my car in 3-D! And it would look like a whale was driving down the street with them!

Wouldn't that just knock your socks off and take those knocked off socks to a batting cage and hit 50 home runs while doing push-ups and drinking fire and glass shards?!

Yep. It would do that.

So next time you're driving down the street and you can't focus your eyes, watch out for a 3-D whale.

And also watch out for my car. It'll say "PLEASE STOP." In 3-D. So if you hit me, you have no excuse. The warning was right there IN YOUR FACE.

I'm off to the third dimension.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

built for two

Have you ever ridden a bicycle built for two?

Have you ever done the Tour de France on a bicycle built for two with a carbon fiber frame, proportionally scaled tube and junction profiles, and a precision-tuned fork?

Well you can now! There have been a few wonderful moments in my life when I was able to see a couple riding a bicycle built for two. Generally, it's a very relaxed ride.

But I just saw a couple wearing their racing spandex on a speed-demon of a bike built for two!

It was more like a bolt of lighting going at warp speed built for two!

They were going at, like, a million knots a second! (nautically speaking, of course)

Did you know that a nautical mile is different from a roadical mile? I knew that. I'm nautical by nature, so I know those kinds of things.

Don't ask me why, though. I can't find a good reason. I just love saying the word nautical.

Nauticalnauticalnautical.

I would like to sail a boat built for two. I would boat it to a roadical where I could ride a bicycle built for two!

Then ride a boat sitting on laundry lines!

I know that doesn't really make sense. The other day I saw a boat sitting on top of somebody's laundry lines. I'm not sure if the boat was hanging out to dry, or if it floated there in a flood, or fell from the sky.

Either way, I wanted to ride it!

I'm off to do nautical things.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj