rainbow dinosaur

Did you hear about this?! There is a rainbow dinosaur! And I want one!

See, there's this thing that happens in the towns around me. People paint statues. This may happen in other communities, too. I don't really know. I'm not allowed to leave New England.

One town painted terriers. (My very favorite breed!) Another town painted sneakers. I think one town does bears.

I don't know the rules, but I guess some people apply to have the chance to paint them and then they display them around the town.

Well, in Granby, they did dinosaurs! The brontosaurus, or, more accurately, the apatosaurus, was their dinosaur of choice.

6-year-old kids decided how they wanted the dino designed and raised money to have somebody paint it like a rainbow! Because 6-year-olds are GENIUSES.

Apparently somebody didn't like it. Complaining that it promoted gay pride. First of all, who cares? Can't a dinosaur love whoever it wants? Third of all, rainbows are awesome whether they represent something or not. Seventhly and finally, IT'S A RAINBOW DINOSAUR AND THERE IS NOTHING COOLER THAN THAT.

Luckily, the town decided that it was ok to display the rainbow dinosaur. Because the town knows that real art uses every color. And dinosaurs. And rainbow dinosaurs.

I tell you all of this because I would like a pet rainbow dinosaur. We would fly all around the world and eat gelato and grapes and other foods that begin with the letter G.

We would also perform musical numbers about historical architecture. Because we've been working on words that rhyme with "colosseum."

I'm off to meet with Liam at the colosseum.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

trick or tre...oh...nobody there

Another Halloween and no candy given out. I wasn't sure this year.

See, I've lived in a few different apartments and sometimes they're near a road and sometimes not. Last year, I moved to a new place VERY close to the road, so I thought I might get some trick-or-treaters!

Then a giant snow monster came and destroyed Halloween.

This year, I bought candy...again...and wondered if somebody might come by. We were pretty clear after the hurricane, so I thought there might be a chance.

OH! Speaking of the hurricane! I have some neighbors who live in houses with yards. I don't have a yard, but they do! One of these neighbors did NOT clean the leaves from their yard AT ALL. You couldn't actually see the grass. It was all leaves. It was pretty cool.

Then the hurricane came and blew ALL of his leaves into the yard next door! A yard that WAS clean!

Yesterday, when I got home from worky, previously clean-yard-man was blowing the leaves BACK to the previously leaved yard.

It was awesome and apposite. (Can you tell I learned a new word?)

After the leaf boundary battle, I got ready for Halloween. Ghost candle, spooky music, bowl full of jelly. I was good to go.

Then nobody came.

Now I'm stuck with 370 pieces of candy.

Well...363...I couldn't help myself.

Fine...347. But I have an excuse! I got a bag with Skittles! You can't say no to tasting the rainbow!

I'm off to count backwards from 347.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

the colors of honey

I love honey. And I never thought it could get better, but France has figured out a trick to make a honey rainbow! Honey Rainbow would be a great name for a 60's folk musical act.

Actually...Honey Rainbow would be a great name for anything. You should name your next child Honey Rainbow. You'll thank me later.

In le France, bees love nectar. And by nectar, I mean M&M sugar! They've been eating colored sugar from the candy factor and using it to make their honey!

The honey is coming out green and blue! This is the greatest thing to hit honey since the pot!

For some reason, the honey-dealers aren't selling it. They say that it tastes like honey. It just has a different color.

Sooo...what's the problem? I don't know if they're just being stubborn, but they should sell it. Honestly, tell me, you'd buy all of it if you could, right?! It's green honey!

How is that NOT the coolest thing ever?!

What is wrong with French beekeepers?!

I'm going to go to Franceland and DEMAND that they sell it to me. If they say no, I will call upon my bee army to attack them.

Those bees worked HARD for that blue honey! They thought, "Wouldn't it be so nice of us to give our beekeeping friends something new to sell? To make them MORE MONEY than they've ever seen in their life?"

And those ungrateful beekeepers won't even sell it. That is an INSULT to the bees.

Bees don't like to be treated that way. They would protest with the music stylings of Honey Rainbow, but the time for peace has past.

I wants my green honey. And the bees want to attack.

I'm off to lead the bee-ttalion. (tee hee)

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

little bittle skittle

Have you seen the Skittles Riddles? They are Skittles flavors, BUT the color doesn't match the flavor inside!

So, if you get a purple Skittle, you don't know if it's cherry or banana or table or rubber or chocolate or what!

But I would like to ask a question...Does it matter?

I have, at times, taken every color of Skittle and put them with their own colors for various reasons. Twice for eating.

I have found that a handful of Skittles of ANY color tastes good. Sugary fruit! That's it!

So do I care what color the Skittle is on the outside? NO! They all taste like sugar! Because that's all they are! And that is all I want them to be!

It's not like yellow Skittles are yellow because they use lemons to make them. I know that and I'm okay with it.

So who are they really fooling with these?

Your children. Someday, if you buy these, your child will have NO idea what color goes with what fruit. They'll see a Lime and call it a Strawberry. You can tell them otherwise, but they'll just say, "Strawberries taste green, lady!" They will say that to you whether you are the mother or the father.

And whose fault is that? Skittles.

Do you know what they should do? They should combine Skittles and M&M's. YES! Why have a peanut or a pretzel in your M&M's when you could have a Skittle in there?!

How awesome would that be?! WHY DON'T THEY HAVE THIS!

It's a conspiracy! It's a fruit-color-chocolate-coated conspiracy! I'm going to go buy a bag of Skittles and a bag of M&M's right now. JUST to prove how good it is. Not the little bags, either. I'm going LARGE BAG!

I'm off to get a tummy ache.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj