don’t buy that

I recently saw a list of things NOT to buy in 2014. It says things like GPS, because you probably have a similar app on your phone. And cable TV because you might save money streaming everything.

In the article, the second thing on the list was “landline service.” They talk about everybody going to mobile phones and stuff.

Then, as I was reading it, it said, “according to data released this month by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.”

WHAT?! Why are they asking people about their phones instead of doing diseases preventions?!

I can’t find anything about them having an Office of Landline Phone Ownership on their website.

BUT! As luck would have it! I found out OTHER stuff about them!

The CDC has a museum! I bet you didn’t know that! They get special health-related exhibits and performances.

I don’t know about you, but this is getting me more excited than and a pet robot dragon.

Also…SUMMER CAMP!

What kid wouldn’t want to go to CDC Summer Camp?! I bet they wash their hands ALL THE TIME.

I wish I knew about this when I was in high school. I would have been there every year.

Instead of sports, we would clean offices. And instead of roasting marshmallows over a fire, we’d boil water to purify it.

“Fun” just took on a whole new meaning.

I’m off to view the CDC museum’s online exhibits.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

poll me maybe

There's a company that polls Americans. About anything and everything. They call themselves  Public Policy Polling. They are awesome because they ask the most RIDICULOUS questions.

They asked about aliens and conspiracies and stuff and it's amazing how many people believe in some things. I guess 47 million people believe the government is controlling our minds through TV.

Which, if they are, they're not getting a lot done. Unless they want people to not agree on politics most of the time, then they're doing a GREAT job.

They ALSO asked if the world is run by lizard people. 12 million people think this is true!  Totally, absolutely true!

Whaaaaat is going on in the world?! Did I completely miss something? Like...the actual existence of lizard people? And not just their existence, but the fact that they have jobs as government officials? With great benefits, possibly including heated rocks?

I'm pretty sure I've seen lizard people on Doctor Who and on Star Trek. Neither group decided to rule the human race. They were not terribly impressed.

I wish there were lizard people. I mean, humans are great and all, but we're all pretty much the same.  Biologically speaking. It would be nice to have a little more variety.

Maybe find an alien with two hearts. Or a lizard person with lizardy skin. Or Yoda.

Sometimes I like to believe that Star Trek is a documentary that was shot in the future and sent back in time as an awesome science fiction show. If they polled me on that, I would have totally said that Star Trek was 100% real.

And THAT is why lizard people sigh and hang their heads when they look at the human race.

I'm off to watch TV. Because the voices tell me to.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

how low can you go?

You thought I was done talking about low stuff?! You were wrong!

If you thought the sink was bad news, wait until you hear about the TV situation!

I'm not a tall guy. I'd say average heighth and width and depth. Well...I'm pretty deep. Maybe deeper than deep. If you read some of my poetry, you would know that.

"The mind can search far for the eyes to see
an ocean of knowledge in a star sea."

Deep, right? I thought so. All that talk about oceans and stars and seas. They all have a lot of deepyness.

I was watching TV this weekend and decided to sit on the floor. Because, you know, we deepers do that sometimes. Guess what I found out?

TV is SOOOOO much better from a lower perspective! Seriously! SO GOOD!

Go on...try it...I'll wait...

See what I mean?!

I'm not sure how to get the TV higher, though. THAT is where I run into trouble. I don't know what to do. Those giant TV bookshelves are too low. I need to get one of those wall mount things and put it near the ceiling. THAT would be AWESOME!

I should be a designerator of the homes. Because my ideas might finally bring world peace. Or something like that. Better posture, perhaps.

Also, my dad agrees with me on the sink thing. So there's a 50/50 chance he'd hire me to design his sinks and TV holders. Unless he finds somebody who actually knows what they're doing. Let's hope he doesn't. I would love a designer's salary.

I'm off to sit up straight.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj