cat killed the curiosity

Well, if it was the Curiosity nuclear weapon/car that is currently on Mars, I think Curiosity would win.

Or would it???

Turns out cats are stone-cold killers. You think they're all sweet and cuddly and fuzzibly, but they are not. Every time you let these monsters out of your house, they go into what experts call "Berserker Kill Everything Mode."

They put little cameras on the cats to see what they do all day. They kill stuff! They bring home maybe a quarter of their kills. A quarter!

The American Bird Conservancy (or ABC) says that cats are to blame for 3, count'em, THREE, species of bird losing their numbers rapidly!

They're also to blame for a 63% increase in bird therapy!

Not only that, these cats engage in very risky behavior! They cross the road without looking. They eat and drink whatever they find on the ground! Go to the bathroom in public! Put graffiti everywhere!

These hoodlums need to be controlled!

That's why I'm adding an Emergency Kitty Task Force to all public safety budgets. They will be trained in the ways of the cat and be able to subdue any and all feline delinquents.

So far I'm the only one on this Task Force, but I can see our numbers doubling soon.

It's time we took back our streets! And our birds!

I'm off to go on patrol.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj