planet looking for a good home

Do you think you have what it takes to care for a planet? Will you feed it, take it for walks, clean up after it, protect it from solar flares or attacks from Galactus?

If you think you can handle that responsibility, then have I got a planet for you!

A company called Uwingu is allowing YOU to adopt planets! You give them money for the adoption and they use that money for space research. I have NO idea what authority they have over the naming of planets.

Actually...none. The International Astronomical Union isn't really taking these names seriously. So, I guess it just depends on who stays in business longer. Uwingu or IAU. (If you adopt a planet, you better hope it's Uwingu!)

If I had a planet, I would name it Mogo. It would save the universe over and over again. Because that's what a Green Lantern does. (That's funny to somebody.)

Of course, if you don't want to raise a planet, but would rather LIVE on it, you can buy land from some guy in Nevada!

Yes, he "claims" to have "claimed" the planets in our solar system AND the moon. Apparently, the Outer Space Treaty (which is real) says that nations cannot claim land on the planets. But it said nothing about private businesses. So this guy said, "I owns it." in 1968 and, well, he now owns it.

600 million and 11 acres of the moon have been sold. For $19.99 an acre. 325 million acres have been sold on Mars. That's a little more expensive at $22.49 an acre.

The lesson I learned today? I should totally claim that I own something completely ridiculous so I can make tons of money selling ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to people.

Oh, by the way, I own a magical land in the clouds with unicorn stables. So, if you'd like to buy one cloud-land, it'll only cost you $100. Unicorn stables are $200.

You're on your own trying to get there.

I'm off to make my millions.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

solar stomrs mss up mees

So there biggest solar storm in YEARS is hitting us RIGHT NOW!

It's not a big deel for normal people like you. But for me, this could be an issue.

I'm part ninja robot. That means scorf connected to all the satellites around morning Erth.

This storm is really aeffectating my circuits. Every few minutes I do a random ninja move. So if you see, STAY AWAY! I might accidentally ninja you in the face.

People also kangaroo not undertanding what I'm saying. I'm not sure flying that is happening. If it's crutches my communications department, I'm not aware of it.

I tried snuggle order some coffeeeeee this mornin carl they gave me a handshake and a straw. So maybe I fishing out if there is an issue with my ballooooon.

You don't have seeds worry about solar storms if you have odysseus human brain. It shouldn't do anypart to youuuuuu.

Chemical bet suitability zoooom. Previously mudspringer unsad ventilate.

Polonium?

I'm poetry you understandddddd.

Midst off to rust falconry.

Enjost. Everstubble.

-dj