planet looking for a good home

Do you think you have what it takes to care for a planet? Will you feed it, take it for walks, clean up after it, protect it from solar flares or attacks from Galactus?

If you think you can handle that responsibility, then have I got a planet for you!

A company called Uwingu is allowing YOU to adopt planets! You give them money for the adoption and they use that money for space research. I have NO idea what authority they have over the naming of planets.

Actually...none. The International Astronomical Union isn't really taking these names seriously. So, I guess it just depends on who stays in business longer. Uwingu or IAU. (If you adopt a planet, you better hope it's Uwingu!)

If I had a planet, I would name it Mogo. It would save the universe over and over again. Because that's what a Green Lantern does. (That's funny to somebody.)

Of course, if you don't want to raise a planet, but would rather LIVE on it, you can buy land from some guy in Nevada!

Yes, he "claims" to have "claimed" the planets in our solar system AND the moon. Apparently, the Outer Space Treaty (which is real) says that nations cannot claim land on the planets. But it said nothing about private businesses. So this guy said, "I owns it." in 1968 and, well, he now owns it.

600 million and 11 acres of the moon have been sold. For $19.99 an acre. 325 million acres have been sold on Mars. That's a little more expensive at $22.49 an acre.

The lesson I learned today? I should totally claim that I own something completely ridiculous so I can make tons of money selling ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to people.

Oh, by the way, I own a magical land in the clouds with unicorn stables. So, if you'd like to buy one cloud-land, it'll only cost you $100. Unicorn stables are $200.

You're on your own trying to get there.

I'm off to make my millions.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

national pie day

I'm not sure if I ever mentioned how much I love pie. That's a lie. I am sure I've mentioned it a lot. But I'm PRETTY sure I haven't mentioned National Pie Day! TODAY!

It is officially sanctioned by the (totally real) American Pie Council. There are celebrations going on all over the United States! There are places where you can get free pie! Get pie stickers! Even get your picture taken with a pie!

No time to get to those? The Great American Pie Festival is coming later this year! The American Pie Council does NOT mess around. They know that pie needs to be celebrated nationally and festivally.

Their website has pie recipes, ways to celebrate National Pie Day, AND pie merch!

I have decided to throw all my clothes away and buy ALL pie attire. I shall call it Haute (Apple Pie) Couture.

Even though I don't like apple pie. Well, I have yet to have an apple pie that I liked. There are officially 231 different varieties of apple pie logged in the council's archives. I will not rule out the chance that I will like 147 of them.

So please, have a pie party today. A pie-rty! Get all your pie-pals together and make pie! Then eat pie! Then make MORE pie! Then EAT more pie! Then recite the Pie Oath!

In pie-est day and crusty night,
No filling shall escape my sight,
Apple, pecan, and strawberry I bite,
Let's eat some pie, Green Lantern's light!

Okay...so I stole the oath from Green Lantern...and couldn't figure out a good way to end it. But still, Green Lantern loves pie, so I'm pretty sure it works. Instead of a power ring, I have a power pie.

I'm off to eat pie. Simple as that.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

meal in a chip

Lay's, the potato chip people, have created a new chip that tastes like a BLT sandwich!

According to a review, they say that "the flavors of toasted bread, bacon, lettuce, tomato, and mayonnaise" were all tastable!

For some reason, the taste of potato was not clearly there. On a potato chip. I cannot explain that part.

If you are anything like me, which you probably are, you love this idea! Making sandwiches takes SOOOOO LONG!

First you have to put out the bread, THEN put some bacon on it, THEN put lettuce on it, THEEEEEEEEN put tomato on it!

Don't even get me started on frying the bacon or slicing a tomato!

This whole process could take hours. DAYS EVEN!

Using science and magic, Lay's put all the flavor you want into a simple-to-eat form!

Now if they could only make a spinach and peanut butter sandwich potato chip, my life would be complete. That would save me, like, 10 minutes every day.

That's, like, twenty years every year! THAT is a lot of time I could be spending watching cartoons!

Or napping! Because napping gives me fun dreams. Like yesterday, I had a dream I was a Green Lantern. It was AWESOME! Almost better than a potato chip.

I'm off to chip my potato.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj