7,000 amphibians and counting

Bactrachologists are having a party! 7,000 amphibians have been named!

Centrolene sabini. That's the 7,000th amphibian found. It has pretty common glassfrog features. You know, nuptial pads, tetralobed liver, translucent hepatic peritoneum, green bones, the usual. (Thank you amphibiaweb)

Amphibians are pretty cool. That's not even meant to be a pun! I mean, if you think it's a funny pun, then by all means laugh at my hilarious punting, but if you think it is an unfunny pun, then it was not meant to be a pun but rather just a common saying referring to the hipness of an amphibian and not the fact that their blood runs cold.

Frogs...newts...salamanders...all wonderful little critters that love to breathe with their skin. How weird would that be? It would be like sniffing with your fingers!

You could wave your hand near a freshly baked cookie and smell it! (That may or may not be scientifically accurate.)

If an amphibian sneezes, does that mean snot just comes out of every pore of their body? Or are they insecure about that because they just secrete mucus all the time?

I won't bring that up at the amphibian shindig celebration for number 7,000. Or, as we bactrachologists like to say, the  "A7K Par-tay."

I hope to see you at there! I'll be bringing some good snacks. I make a creamed beetle dip that is to die for. I walk into a party and the tongues start flying.

Because, you know, they're sticky and catch their food that way.

My tongue is sticky, too. But that's because I put glue on it so I can fit in with the amphibians.

I'm off to catch some bugs.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

animals need tissues

Animals are getting sick. Maybe on purpose?

We had bird and piggy flu. Now we have to watch out for Seal Flu!

When it started with the birds, we thought it was a fluke ("fluke" as in accident, not the fish). Then the pigs got the flu, but it didn't seem too bad.

Now that seals want to give us the flu, a conspiracy arises. These animals are INFECTING THEMSELVES with the flu just to give us the sniffles!

Turtles don't do that. They actually try to avoid the flu by wearing little wool caps. Because they know how cute it looks.

Seals would look cute with wool caps, too. But they don't wear them. Because they want the flu.

Silly seals.

I think there are very few things that are cuter than turtles wearing little wool caps.

I also think that acorns don't get enough credit for growing into trees.

Did you know that it's good luck to put an acorn on your windowsill? It's supposed to protect you from getting struck by lightning. At least, that's what it did for Thor. I don't know why that matters to Thor, though. He can summon lightning, so I figure he can just unsummon it...right?

Maybe if I put some acorns in my nose and a wool cap on my head I won't get seal flu. Or struck by lightning.

Maybe that's not a good idea. Not after the marble incident.

Don't put marbles in your nose.

I'm off to find some acorns and wool.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

what is this bliss

I had to buy cleaning gloves. Now, I've bought many gloves in the past. I've never had a problem. No allergies to any kind. Latex or latex-free.

Even though they don't bother me, that doesn't stop me from trying Bliss!

Mr. Clean has created a "proprietary material" that is called "Bliss."

That means it's not latex. They don't actually tell you what Bliss is. It just...is.

After using Bliss for my cleaning, I think I can tell you the ingredients. It's the softest part of a cloud picked from the sky at the peak of ripeness.

Then magically blended with a shield made of white gold.

It's molded into the shape of a hand by a princess and a dragon who are best friends and wear friendship bracelets they made for each other at sleepaway camp two million years ago.

At this camp, they also made a birdhouse out of toothpicks, but that doesn't have to do with their friendship. They just liked doing it. Birds liked it too.

They make this hand of softness and protection with their princess/dragon powers and finally put it into a box sealed with love and happiness and sweetness and hugs.

Then they sell it to me in the store. Where I buy it. Then use it to clean my bathroom.

That is how you make Bliss.

At least, that's what I saw after I slipped in the tub.

I woke up a few days later with a nasty bruise on my head. And soft gloves on my hands.

It was a good day...days?

I'm off to clean with Bliss.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

you never think they'll eat you

Crazy scientists always trying to create something that should NEVER exist. And they are doing it again. They have created a "jellyrat." 

Taking the heart of a rat and bio-engineering (I don't know what that word really means, but it sounds "evil scientisty") it to a thin layer of silicone, they have created a jellyfish-like creature.

Wanna know how I found a jellyfish-like creature? I SAW A JELLYFISH AT THE AQUARIUM. We don't need a cyborg rat-heart jellyfish! They already exist!

If these things learns how to jump out of the water and breathe air (Which it will, you know. These things always learn how to evolve.), it looks like it will jump onto your face and SUCK YOUR BRAIN!

I don't know about you, but I need my brain for simple AND complicated tasks. Like walking or holding a fork OR STAYING ALIVE.

So if you feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin', then you know that the jellyrats have started their attack.

Luckily, I know a few beavers from the future who have laser eyes and metal hands and stuff.

They are here to protect the future from a jellyrat invasion. So we're good.

Well, I hope we are. Unless my brain has already been sucked out and I'm just telling you what they tell me to tell you.

Then hope is already lost.

I'm off to check my brain before I wreck my brain.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

where no dog has barked before

I like Star Trek: The Next Generation. It is one of my mostest favoritest shows ever! It was so good. STILL so good. 

Last night, movie theaters around the country showed two episodes from season one to celebrate the release of ST:TNG on Blu-ray.

It was awesome.

What was even more AWESOMER was the dog at the show! YES! There was a canine there!

It was in a rolling pet carrier thingy. I always knew that all species loved Star Trek. I just didn't know all species were allowed in the movies!

Can you bring a dog into a movie theater? Well...I now know that you can. Cuz it happened. I don't think they tried to sneak it in. It was pretty clearly a dog. In a carrier. Not, like, a lump in a suitcase that was barking.

They brought the dog in and it just watched the movies and didn't make a sound! It was so interested in the Enterprise going to the edge of the universe and Data finding his evil brother!

Does it cost extra to bring a dog in? It didn't actually take up any seats. It was sitting on its owner's lap. Maybe a child's ticket?

I should have asked, but I don't know much dog, so I probably wouldn't have understood the answer. All I remember from my dog classes is how to ask for cheese and where the bathroom is.

Grwoof wruf ruff whimper?

Huh...I guess they don't have cheese at the movie candy counter.

I'm off to the Enterprise.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

the eagle has landed better

On this day in history, Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon for the Apollo 11 mission! It happened in 1969. That was a long time ago. 

Unless you are a time traveler, then it might have only been yesterday. I don't know when you're from. I like the name Armstrong.

And Buzz. Those are cool names. Instead of an eagle landing on the moon (which is totally possible because eagles are hardcore birds), they should make it a shark. With legs. That knows how to dance.

Buzz Armstrong will fly this shark to the moon and say, "The shark has landed on its legs on the moon!"

Then he'll use a jet pack to rocket out of the shark's mouth! Without a helmet because Buzz is so tough he can breathe in moon-space!

He'll stand on the moon and say, "That's one awesome jet pack landing for me. One amazing dance routine for mankind!"

Then he and the shark-ship will dance like crazy! And not bad dancing, either. Good dancing. Like breakdancing. Or crunk.

Then Buzz's pet wolf will jet pack out of the shark too! This won't be any regular wolf; this is, like, a wolf the size of a bus! And his name is Awesome! Buzz rides Awesome around the moon and says, "Apollo goes up to 11, moonies!"

Then they fly through space fighting crime and saving space-babies and stuff.

That's what really happened. I think. They just show that grainy video to hide the truth. They didn't think people could handle its epicness. I hope you can now. I don't want to blow your mind.

If I did, I apologize.

I'm off to crunk.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

lean back for health

I recently saw an article that said sitting is bad for you. I'm cool with that. I like to stand most of the time. It's more fun. It's easier to dance when you're standing. 

BUT! They said that if you are sitting it is best to recline and NOT sit straight up!

Since I do a lot of driving, I wanted to test this out. So far...not great.

I have to put the seat REALLY close to the pedals so I can recline and still reach the steering wheel.

I know some people do that because it's really cool to look "relaxed" behind the wheel. But what people DON'T see is my knees squished against the dashboard.

So what do I do? It's better for my body to be reclined. But it's so uncomfortable for my legs! If my legs were 30 cm shorter, this would be perfect.

Why did I have to be cursed/blessed with beautiful, long legs?! They're amazing when I have to go ninja-kick evil robot otters, but such a pain when I have to drive to the locations that said evil resides.

And since I do a lot of driving to evil locations, my legs are unhappy. And unhappy legs means less amazing ninja skills.

Less amazing ninja skills means evil could win. But is sitting straight up also a form of evil? Is evil out to get me from every direction?

I smell an evil conspiracy.

I also smell burning rubber. I don't know why. I should probably worry about that because it's making me a little light-headed.

I'm off to adjust my seat.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj